Shedding Our Summer Skin

By MaliciousMudkip

Tue, 21 Jun 2011
  • 1761 reads
6 comments
 

The grass tickled the back of my neck,
less like the earth, and more like a bed,
the rays of the sun warmed my face.
All of this heat, caught up in my head.

Her eyes are like sunflowers,
Eternal summer trapped within.
Her skin is like winter,
Pale and perfect porcelain.

The earth spins on its axis,
the sun sets in the sky,
this moment lives forever
in my mind’s eye.

Hearts can’t beat in unison,
but they can sure as hell try.
Two can’t be as one
But to ourselves, we can lie…

and lie we do, on this rolling hill,
The world turns, and slowly dies.
And my world turns around her,
And hers around I.

Certificate U
Poem
Super Poetry Slam
Love

Comments

Submitted by Richard L. Prov... on
A lovely poem of companionship, shedding the skin of life and entering into each other's soul. Well done. Isn't it amazing what each reader discovers as the onion of words is peeled? Richard LP
Richard L. Provencher

Submitted by MaliciousMudkip on
Thank you for your comment. Your intepretation is interesting and it's amazing to see what the words can come to mean to different people, I suppose it's one of the joys of writing poems, and indeed writing in general. This is my second real attempt at a poem and I'm growing very fond of the medium. The immediacy and simplicity with which it allows meaning and feeling to be demonstrated is fantastic. But again as you said, the layers that can be peeled back and delved into are amazing. Not that I'm trying to say my poem is fantastic or anything! Don't want to seem bigheaded, but I believe the above can be said for any poem. Thanks for the food for thought. - Jason Purdy (MM)

 

Submitted by maisie on
this one has an interestng old fashioned texture - an interesting insight in a particular relationship. thanks

maisie angel Guess what?  I'm still alive!

Submitted by maggyvaneijk on
A beautiful testament to love and companionship, the first two lines are my favourite

 

Submitted by MaliciousMudkip on
Thank you very much for your kind words and compliments Maisie and Maggyvaneijk. :)

 

Submitted by QuiteContrary on
"Hearts can't beat in unison, but they sure as hell can try" Beautiful. Great work.

QC