(3) The Covid 19 Miracle

Fred Flanders was on his Wednesday morning prayer meeting on Zoom. Catherine lived in Darrowby.
"My husband's very ill," she said.  A picture of an old man appeared on the screen, coughing persistently, sweating heavily and wearing striped pyjamas. "Can you all pray for him?" asked Catherine. Pastor Flanders got the antiseptic hand gel which he usually used to clean the screen on his tablet. He put a little drop of the hand gel in the centre of the electronic picture of Catherine's husband Harold.
"Harold Gwendolyn, I anoint you with antiseptic hand gel which has been blessed in the name of the Lord." The pastor laid the fingers of his right hand on the electronic image of Harold. "In the name of Jesus, be healed of Covid 19." The other people in the meeting began shouting and praying loudly. "Amen, Amen, do it Lord, heal him, heal him." The pastor continued, "In the name of Jesus, I blast this out. Covid 19, I demand you to cease. Virus, I command you to die in his body." Harold had a massive coughing fit.
"It's not working," said Catherine. "You've got healing hands, Pastor Fred. When I had kidney stones, something like fire came out of your hands and it dissolved them."
"But there's six inches of snow on the ground. There's police roadblocks stopping anyone going in and out of Darrowby." Harold's cough was now accompanied by a worrying rattling noise coming from his chest.
"Pastor, if you don't come and lay hands on him in person, he is going to die."
"Harold's very ill with Covid 19. I might catch it."
"You'll just have to have faith."

"Do you want to use my car?" asked Shelley. She had a 10 year old Ford Galaxy which was intended to accommodate Pastor Fred, Shelley and one day soon, all five of their children.
"No, I'll take the Fiat. It's really good in snow." Pastor Fred drove out on to the country roads between Rotherham and Darrowby with his son Simon and his youngest daughter Sweetipa in the car. After several miles of successful climbing with the 1100cc engine, which had so little power it just couldn't make the car skid, the car ran into a ditch and became stuck. Pastor Fred got on his mobile phone to Shelley.
"Hi Honey. We're stuck in a ditch. Can you pray for us?"
"I knew you were going to have an accident in the car. I'm praying already."
"An accident? No. We haven't had an accident. The car's stuck in the snow. Simon's gone outside with the spade to dig us out."
"Daddy, I can see an angel," said Sweetipa.
"Oh can you, Sweetipa, see an angel? That's lovely. I believe in angels too." Simon had opened the front passenger door.
"I think there might be an angel, Dad. Look at that back wheel. It's right over the ditch and the car didn't turn over. It's just hovering in mid air." The angel materialised. It looked like a big man standing in the ditch. He was holding the rear wheel of the car.
"Can you all get into the car and drive forward," said the angel.
"Drive forward?" asked Pastor Fred.
"It's a front wheel drive car. The driving wheels are on the ground. If you drive forward now, you'll just move off normally. And hurry up. I'm getting awfully tired holding this wheel."

They carried on for another half hour and came to two policemen who were standing next to a police car.
"Can you explain the purpose of your journey?" barked one of the policeman.
"I'm a church pastor and I heal the sick. I'm visiting somebody in Darrowby with Covid 19." Pastor Fred held up his bottle of antiseptic handwash. "This isn't just an ordinary bottle of antiseptic hand gel, it's been blessed in the name of the Lord. My wife prayed over it for several hours."
"Why are the children in the car?"
"To help me if I get stuck in the snow. If I get really stuck, the little one can use the spade and the big one can give me a push, and I can steer."
"Why can't you meet people on Zoom and heal them?"
"Well, I tried but it didn't work. I've got healing hands. When someone had kidney stones, heat came out of my hands and dissolved them. I have to be there in person." The policeman looked at Pastor Fred as if he was completely insane but his colleague looked excited.
"Sergeant, did you see that film about the shopkeeper who discovered he was the Son of God?"
"No."
"Well I did. I'm just saying these things happen. Maybe he's a faith healer. Carry on. We'll categorise this visit as humanitarian." Pastor Fred drove away. The police officer spoke to the Sergeant again. "Either that or they're all around the twist."

Pastor Fred arrived at Harold's house. Catharine opened the front door.
"Thank God you've come. How was the journey here?" she asked.
"Oh fine, fine," said Pastor Fred, realising how English people never talk about their feelings.
"I wondered if you would get here at all."
"Mum was praying for us," said Simon, "so the journey had to be fine."
Pastor Fred and the children all put on their face masks. Pastor Fred led everybody into the bedroom where Harold was lying on the bed, coughing with his chest rattling, sweat pouring out of his body, on top of the bed covers rather than in them and still wearing his stripey pyjamas. The pastor squeezed the antiseptic hand gel from the bottle, as much of it as possible, on to Harold's chest. He put his hands on Harold's chest. Catherine and Pastor Fred started praying loudly in tongues and carried on for several minutes. Then Pastor Fred said,
"Lord, do it again, do it again. In the name of Jesus, I command this virus to die. In Jesus name, Corona virus, take off your crown. I declare the end of your reign." He had a feeling like fire or electricity coming out of his hands into Harold's body. Harold stopped coughing. The fever subsided.
"Excellent," said Harold. "Praise the Lord. I think we all need a nice cup of tea."
"I'll put the kettle on," said Catharine. They went into the kitchen. A few minutes later Harold came to join them, after he had finished in the bathroom and put on some clothes.
"Would you like some real coffee?" asked Harold. He spooned the ground coffee into the percolator. Harold and Catharine made a big pot of coffee and they all drank it.

On the way home in the car, Pastor Fred admitted to Simon,
"Son, I hate coffee. It makes me feel ill."
"I have the same feeling about marzipan chocolates."
"Yes Simon, that feeling. The feeling of yuck, urr, I want to be sick. I drank that coffee because I didn't want to be rude."
"You should have asked for tea. Catharine wouldn't have been offended at all. She has a wide range of teas, roobios, Earl Grey, Yorkshire Tea. She really wouldn't mind if you asked for tea."