Covid 19 Youtube(2)

This was Sally's choice of film. It was Friday night. The curtains were drawn again. The screen was up. The crisps and sweets were on the coffee table. The credits of 'Blinded By the Light' and the introduction to the film played on the screen. Then a man dressed like the pope got out of a limousine and a group of young people stood at the entrance to a building, stretching out their hands and saying, 'Father, Father, Father!' Outside the building two young men were standing beside a literature table in the street. A white van with an open side door came down the street at low speed. A man standing in the side door of the white van grabbed one of the young men standing by the table and pulled him inside. The scene changed. Now the man who had been standing beside the table was inside a small room half lying, half sitting, on the bed. 'Father, Father, Father!' he began praying. A woman came into the bedroom carrying a big bedroom mirror. 'Take a look at yourself Tony,' said a man who was standing in the room with him. 'You have been brainwashed.'
"This isn't Blinded by the Light," said Sally.
"There are 2 films called Blinded by the Light," explained Matthew. "One involves a Pakistani teenager who discovers the music of Bruce Springsteen and the other is an old film on Youtube, made on Super 8 about 40 years ago, which involves young people being rescued from a cult."
"Couldn't we just watch this film?" asked Pastor Boris. "It's very good. That's exactly what people would be like. The young people worship their leader because they think he's God. The outside world won't have it. They arrange for them to be kidnapped and deprogrammed. It could all very easily happen."
"We should get a subscription to Netflix," said Sally, "and watch the film about the Pakistani teenager who discovers Bruce Springsteen."
"You're not allowed to have a monthly direct debit for anything except household bills," said Angie.
"Buy one DVD every month," said Rachel. "Then it won't be a direct debit."
"Remember that your average pocket money is only £3 a week," said Angie. "And you haven't got a DVD player. You have to get authorisation for anything that costs more than £50. I would never authorise it."
"Amazon have a DVD player for £19.99," said Magnus.
"Do they?" Angie looked horrified.
"And Poundland sell some very good DVDs for £1," said Sally.
"In that case, there's absolutely nothing I can do about it," said Angie. "Go and buy your films on DVD."

 

Matthew came to see Pastor Boris in his office holding a very high gigabyte memory stick that Magnus had made for him.
"Pastor Boris, are you still worried about a shortage of sermons?" he asked.
"Yes, I'm not used to preaching every Sunday. I don't feel that I'm at my best when I'm preaching every week, Matthew. I lose my prophetic edge. And people say that I'm just preaching on my pet subject. They say that I want the whole world and his wife to live in community, and that's all I ever preach about. Not true. If someone's married to a non-Christian, I think they have a good enough reason not to live in community. And I wonder what else they think I should talk about."
"Pastor Boris, we could help each other," said Matthew. "You are short of preachers, I am one of the world's greatest undiscovered preachers. I am recording my sermons on this memory stick that Magnus made me. I am going to be a famous man of God all over the world."
"Well Matthew, that's a good ambition to have. If you've got self confidence you're halfway there."
"I am recording a series of 500 sermons on the book of Revelation," said Matthew. "These are the first 50." Pastor Boris grabbed the memory stick eagerly.
"50 sermons? 50 sermons on this stick," he said. "Thank you, Matthew. My problems are solved."

 

The people sat down around the projector on Sunday morning. Matthew appeared on the screen.
"Good morning, and welcome to Piddledon Farm Community Church official Covid 19 Youtube channel. All Bible readings are taken from the New International Version, produced by the International Bible Society, for which permission is given to quote up to 500 verses as long as these verses do not make up more than 25% of the total text of the work in which they are quoted and as long as a copyright notice is given. I am preaching a series of 500 sermons on the book of Revelation. Why am I doing this? Because I believe that these are the last days. We are living in the days of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, the period of war, plague and famine that the Bible describes in Revelation chapter 6. The church is not appointed to God's wrath. We will not experience the wrath of God. But we are living in the time when the seven seals will be opened. That is not a time of God's wrath, that is just the kind of suffering that will happen in the dark days that Jesus talks about in Matthew 24. Immediately after the distress of those dark days, the end will come. The rider of the white horse has a crown on his head and goes forth to conquer. The corona virus has a crown on its head." A picture of the coronavirus, taken through a powerful electron microscope, appeared on the screen. "It was also manufactured as a weapon in a Chinese laboratory. It goes forth to conquer. The first of the seven seals has been broken. The Apophis asteroid will hit the Earth on April 13th 2029. Nasa are saying that it won't hit the earth, it will just come within 20,000 miles. But how do they know? It is so far away."
"Nasa are the real experts," interrupted Stanley. "They bounce spacecraft off nearby planets and send them to the outskirts of the solar system. I think they know where an asteroid is going to land." Matthew's sermon continued on the screen. "Someone will say, no man knows the hour. No one will know the hour until the very end. But what about those who can see the asteroid hurtling towards them? They will know the decade but not the hour. What will happen between now and 2029? The second seal. The fiery red horse, who will take peace from the earth. Then the third seal, the black horse whose rider is holding a pair of scales. Prepare for shortages of food. The fourth seal, the horse of death, is given power to kill people over a quarter of the earth's surface, a quarter of its geographical area, by sword, famine and plague and by the wild beasts of the earth. Africa, South Asia, South America, a quarter of the earth's surface. This is happening right now. We will be taken out of the world immediately before the asteroid hits. When the sixth seal is opened there is a great earthquake and the sky goes black. In Matthew 24 the sun will be darkened and the moon will not give its light. This is immediately before the rapture. In Luke 21, Jesus says that when these things take place, lift up your heads for your redemption is drawing near. Lift up your heads, my friends. The second coming of Christ is not far away at all." After the sermon, Valerie looked at Pastor Boris crossly.
"Don't you watch the sermons before they go out."
"Yes I do," said Pastor Boris.
"So you knew what Matthew was going to say?"
"Valerie, I absolutely knew everything that Matthew was going to say."
"But that's insane."
"Valeirie, Matthew is a very clever Bible scholar and I respect his views. I allowed that sermon to be broadcast because I believe he is right."

 

A few months later Pastor Boris was in the local corner shop wearing his face mask.
"I want to buy £50,000 worth of tinned food to put in my cellar," he said. The shopkeeper was an African man of about 60. His face lit up with great excitement.
"I will be able to retire," he said. "£50,000 worth of tinned food. Well, maybe not, but I'll be able to replace that old van out there that keeps breaking down."
"Jesus is coming very soon."
"I know he is Pastor. My son over there has a copy of your book." The shopkeeper's son, who looked about 30 years old, held up a copy of the book, 29 Reasons Why it's 2029, by Matthew Ellis. "We are African Christians. We are Seventh Day Adventists. We believe in your prophecy."
"We contacted Amazon but they said they couldn't deliver such a large amount of food."
"Oh Pastor, we could deliver that amount of food. £50,000 worth of tinned food wouldn't weigh more than a few tons. Not at the prices that we charge. It can go in the back of a 35 ton truck. I'll get on to our lorry driver. He's self-employed. He delivers for us. I'm sure he could do it." Pastor Boris left the shop. The shopkeeper turned to look at his son. "I knew this would happen. You're not a Christian at all, are you?"
"Load of fudge, mate," his son replied, laughing and putting down the book.

 

A few days later a large articulated lorry drove on to the farm. A team of six men started unloading it.
"Where do you want this, Pastor Boris?"
"In the huge cellar downstairs," said Pastor Boris.
"No one ever goes down there," said one of the men.
"I'll lead the way."
"Why do you want all this food?" asked the lorry driver.
"Because Jesus is coming very soon. We are living in the days of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse," said Pastor Boris. "I think that with 6 men I can have this lorry emptied by lunch time. Will you be having lunch with us?"
"Oh no, no," said the driver. "I'm not in your social bubble."
"We can put you in a separate room and keep 3 metres away from you all the time."
"No, I don't think I'll bother. I'll use the motorway services. They're still open."

 

During the summer, when the lockdown had been eased for a few months, Ken was staying on the farm with his wife. It was a hot day and he had been for a long walk that had taken a couple of hours. He returned to the farm. No one was around. "Hello, hello?" Ken called. No one answered. The farm was completely empty. On the table there was a half eaten dinner. Someone had left some of their Death by Vegetables half a tree of green leafy stuff and an untouched parsnip. More surprisingly, they had left half their meat. On the armchair there was Wendy's mobile phone and a pair of glasses. There was also half a glass of milkshake. Ken recalled how Wendy would take off her glasses to look at her mobile phone. This confirmed his suspiscions. Wendy had been raptured. So had the person eating their dinner. Everybody else at the farm had been raptured. Ken and his wife Ruth were not believers. They had been left behind. Ruth ran into the kitchen, alerted by the way that Ken was now hysterically slamming and banging the kitchen drawers.
"What's wrong, dear?"
"Ruth Darling, everybody else at the farm has been raptured. The son has come and we've been left behind. And to make things even worse, I can't even find the bloody tin opener!"
"There it is, hanging on the wall," said Ruth.
"Oh well, thanks dear. At least we can have something to eat before we go to Hell." Pastor Boris and Valerie came in through the door. "What a fright you gave me," said Ken.
"And me," said Ruth. "I was starting to believe it too."
"Believe what?" asked Valerie.
"When I came back from my walk the farm was empty," said Ken. "There was a half eaten dinner on the table. Wendy had left her reading glasses next to her mobile phone next to a half consumed milkshake."
"And Ken thought they had been raptured," said Ruth.
"I thought we had been left behind," said Ken.
"Trust Jesus as your Saviour and there will be no more nasty surprises," said Valerie.
"How do we do that?" asked Ruth.
"Just say this prayer after me." They both joined in prayer with Valerie. "Dear God."
"Dear God."
"I accept that I am a sinner."
"I accept that I am a sinner."
"I believe that you sent Jesus to die for my sins."
"I believe that you sent Jesus to die for my sins."
"I ask you to cleanse me by your blood and forgive all my sins."
"I ask you to cleanse me by your blood and forgive all my sins."
"I will follow you all the days of my life."
"I will follow you all the days of my life."
"Amen."
"Amen."

 

It was early 2029. Stanley sat down with Matthew and showed him a newspaper.
"Well Matthew, you have fulfilled your ambition to be a famous man of God all over the world. Look at the headline. 'Mad Man Preacher Thinks The World Will End on April 13th.' They're laughing at you all over the world."
"We'll see whose laughing when the rock hits."
"Matthew, you don't still believe that, do you? That asteroid is only a few million miles away now. They still think it'll miss Earth by 20,000 miles. They can't possibly be wrong now."

 

On April 24th 2029, Matthew was sitting in his bedroom bouncing up and down in front of the camera that was attached to his livelink Youtube channel.
"It missed, it missed, the asteroid missed! No earthquake on the west coast of America. No huge tsunamis that can wipe out whole countries. No volcanic eruption, as the impact disturbs Yellowstone Park, that effects the weather and causes a famine in Europe. I suppose I should be happy but I was so looking forward to Jesus coming back again. Still, no need to despair. The asteroid had a slight chance of going off on a slingshot and hitting the earth again in 2036. Of course, Nasa say it won't. Nasa say it missed the tiny area half a mile across that it needed to pass through to do this. I know they bounce spacecraft off other planets and send them to the outer solar system but how can their calculations be accurate to less than one mile?" Matthew held up a brightly coloured paperback book. "Read my new book, 36 reasons why it's 2036."