Good Morning Mr Antichrist 4

The group at the farm sat down to watch the evening news together on the big screen. A spinning world flashed through a blue sky. "Northampton News" said a voice, as music played in the background. A news reader appeared in the studio.
"This is Midlands and World News from Northampton. We start today's broadcast with a Homily for Today from His Holiness, Father Antonio Christos." The pope was sitting in his office, looking at a news reporter.
"Good morning, Holy Father," said the news reporter. "What would you say was the greatest commandment?"
"The greatest commandment is this. If it feels good, do it. The trouble with religions like Catholicism and Christianity is that they're obsessed with sin. They load everybody down with guilt. Now I say that you're a moral person, you're not a sinner. If something feels good to you, that's because it is good. Always let your conscience be your guide. It won't be wrong. If it feels good, do it. I'd have these words written on my grave, if I had a grave, but I'm going to live forever and rule the world for a thousand years." The announcer in the studio appeared again.
"Now other news. The number of people in Britain out of work and claiming benefits has gone up to 27 million." A picture appeared of some men in suits standing on a street corner.
"We're broke," said one of the men. "Any trade that uses the internet."
"To sell things," said another man.
"To provide services," said another.
"What about the temporary masts?" asked the news reporter.
"No good at all. It takes days to make a transaction. A shopkeeper might be able to upload his transactions to the bank at the end of the day but that's about all. The days when people could browse the internet looking for anything they wanted to buy are long gone." The scene returned to the news reader in the studio.
"The stock exchange collapsed this morning. House builders, retailers, manufacturers, companies that were worth billions a few weeks ago now completely worthless. But some companies are doing well. Black Diamond, who provide coal and natural gas to power stations, are rallying exceptionally well,  now that there is no more solar power. International Diesel, who provide diesel for super tankers and goods trains 5 miles long, are doing well. Essential goods are transported thousands of miles by rail and sea and drones fly the goods for the last 5 miles. Can Tastic, who make tins of soup, Flour Power, who make bread rolls, are also doing well, as is Big Pharma, who provide drugs to chemist's shops. These companies are absorbing most of the money from pension companies and big investors who are selling their shares in dot com companies. The government made this announcement this morning about what will happen to everyone's money." The face of Anita appeared.
"The beast who had a seemingly fatal wound and yet lived," said Bobby. "That's a story in the Bible." 
"Private companies will pay 3 quarters of their wages and 3 quarters of their profits to the government," said Anita. "Everyone will receive Universal Basic Income, regardless of whether they are working or not." The scene changed to a shopkeeper standing behind the counter in a shop.
"Are you happy to work for £100 a week?" asked the news reporter.
"I am happy to work for £100 a week. Universal Basic Income isn't very much money. If I had an extra £100 a week, I could afford to buy new clothes, I could afford to put the central heating on. We sell all sorts of strange things to people on benefits. We can sell you a sewing kit to repair the holes in your old clothes. We sell a small electric heater with a long lead, that can be pointed at your chair. Why heat the whole room when you can only heat one corner? We sell carpet slippers to people who can't afford to buy shoes."
"What will you do when the snow comes? You can't wear slippers like that in the snow."
"Wellington boots." The news ended.

"What do you think about that, then?" asked Matthew, as he dipped his spoon into a thick bowl of soup.
"I suppose we're lucky that we live on the farm," said Bobby.
"Self sufficiency isn't such a bad thing," said Maria, as she kneaded a loaf of bread and prepared to put it in the oven.
"Yes, we probably are privileged that we live here," said Natasha. "At least we can grow our own food." The soup was tasty and thick.
"What's that outside?" asked Mike. "It looks like a flying saucer." A strange object hovered above the farm, shining with brilliant white light in the pitch darkness, looking like most people would imagine an alien spaceship. Then they were no longer in the kitchen, they were on the spaceship, if that's what it was. They were sitting in a ring of chairs around a young man was immaculately dressed.
"Hello," said the man. "I'm Jesus."
"You don't look like Jesus," said Mike.
"Why? What should Jesus look like?"
"You look like the man who sang the song, 'I wanna be a male model," said Matthew. "Jesus is supposed to have soft, shiny eyes, long hair and a beard."
"So Jesus couldn't be a hunk of a guy?" asked Natasha.
"Gentle Jesus meek and mild, look upon this little child," said Bobby.
"I hate that poem. It emasculated me. Why do people have to spend so much of their time teaching soft, non threatening images of Jesus to pre pubescent children? I am Jesus. I am an ordinary man without any blemishes or deformities." Natasha looked down from their seats, which were positioned on a high platform, to the rest of the ship, which was like a huge sports stadium full of people
"Are these all the Christians from the UK?" she asked.
"No," said Jesus. "They're all the Christians from all over the world. There were only 8 people on Noah's ark. The population of the world is about 4,000 times what it was then. There are about 32,000 people on this ship."
"That's about one in a million from the 30 billion people who live on the earth," said Bobby. "Not many found Jesus."
"Many have been martyred," said Matthew. "Not all of them were as lucky as you."
"Very many were martyred," said Jesus. "But a far greater number have been deceived."
"Did sin have to reach it's full measure before you came back again?" asked Bobby.
"Sin has reached it's full measure," said Jesus. "It's not safe to walk down the streets. He's got a lot to answer for, that Holy Father, with his mantra, 'if it feels good, do it.' A man kills his wife and family. Gets taken to a psychiatrist who inevitably decides that he's criminally insane. Gets 6 years for manslaughter. Can't give him a life sentence. Prisons are full. We have got rampant sin. There is no restraint. There comes a point where God has to intervene. It's like the government deciding to send the troops in. You try political posturing, you try diplomacy, you try negotiation, if all else fails and things get really bad, you try invasion. I'm not an evil God. I don't judge the world for fun. There just comes a point where God has to intervene." 

Natasha and her friends walked down the stairs to join the others.
"Hello," said a big African man.
"We just got here from Northampton, England," said Bobby.
"Kano, Nigeria, this morning. He's going all over the world in one day, gathering the chosen few. We're the lucky ones. My family had a farm. Other people were just left on the streets to die." There were a middle aged English couple.
"We climbed onto a goods train," said the man. "It's a few miles long and it doesn't go very fast."
"We knew there were some Christians on a farm in Robertsbridge," said his wife. "We travelled by train to Robertsbridge railway station."
"The train didn't actually stop at Robertsbridge railway station," said her husband. "We jumped off onto the platform with the train still moving. You can run faster than a goods train."
"What will happen to those who are left behind now?" asked Maria.
"More of the same," said Matthew. "Not much is going to change immediately. Jesus is going to declare himself to be king of the world. Father Antonio Christos won't like it. That will lead to the judgement prophesied in the Bible, the battle of Armageddon and the Day of the Lord." The journey went on for several hours. Salad sandwiches were passed around on paper plates and little bottles of water were given out by men in red sweaters.
"Where are you from?" asked Bobby.
"We're angels."
"You don't look like angels."
"What do angels look like?"
"I thought angels were beautiful women with wings."
"You're thinking of mermaids. In the Bible angels were nearly all men. I think there's one or two cases where the sex is unknown, but actually, the majority of angels are men."
"Why the red sweaters?"
"We just wear clothes to blend in with the culture of the day. We serve bottled water and sandwiches, dressed like the kind of stewards you would see at an ordinary Christian event." It was late in the evening and everyone was feeling very tired. Jesus appeared on the big screen.
"Well, it's been a long day, and I feel like having some sleep. We're going to land in a few minutes. If you press the button on the arm of your seat, you'll see that it reclines and becomes a bed."

The next morning the big screen at the front of the spacecraft turned on. Everyone could see that they were hovering over a middle eastern city.
"This is Jerusalem," said Jesus. "In 5 minutes time we will be landing on the Mount of Olives." The spacecraft reduced speed gently and touched down. The face of Father Antonio Christos appeared on the screen. He looked furious.
"Hello Father Antonio," said Jesus.
"Hello Jesus. I don't like you landing on the Mount of Olives as if you own the place."
"I'm the Lord of all creation and the maker of all things. I own the whole world."
"That's debatable," said Father Antonio. "One of us is going to rule the world for a thousand years. I don't want it to be you. You would take the world back into Catholic guilt."
"Have you really brought world peace, Father Antonio?"
"There's no more wars."
"Maybe there aren't but the world is a far more violent place since you've been in charge. You've got unrestrained sin." Father Antonio jumped up and down, shaking his clenched fist.
"There is no such thing as sin! I believe in original blessing."
"So did that man who went to prison for killing his wife and 3 daughters last week. As he was marched away to penal servitude he shouted, 'If it feels good, do it!"
"Could I just speak to all the billions of people who are watching this on the news?" asked Father Antonio. "In 5 years time the world will be back to normal. The dust in the sky will settle down, we'll be drinking beer instead of filtered water and we'll be able to spend every night clubbing. We're gonna have some fun. If you would like to put an end to Jesus and his religion of irrationally sensitive conscience and guilt, tune your radio to 666 kHz where you can visit the government website and join the army. That's right. Join the army today. You can fight for me."

A few weeks later Father Antonio Christos was being driven through the Israeli desert in his armoured limousine.
"So many millions of people have come to join my army," he said to the news reporter who was travelling with him. "This is going to be a glorious day. After I've destroyed the entire army of Israel, I'm going to kill Jesus and then sit down on the throne in my temple, where everybody will call me by my real name, Our Lord God the Pope." Jesus was flying his spaceship and looking down on the battlefield. The Christians on board the ship were watching the events going on below them on the big screen.
"That looks like a cloud of locusts," someone said.
"The locusts aren't the troops," said Jesus, "they're the big military helicopters that are carrying the troops. The troops are parachuting out of them." Eventually the swarm of helicopters disappeared and the soldiers looked like a huge sea of black dots marching on the ground.
"How many soldiers are there?" somebody asked.
"Imagine an area the size of Greater London that was full of soldiers standing a few feet apart. That's how many soldiers there are. There are more soldiers than there are people in Israel. The Israeli defence forces wouldn't stand a chance. It breaks my heart to have to do this." Jesus pressed a switch on his console and a blinding light came out from the lower orb of the flying saucer, vaporising the millions of troops and the pope's fleet of armoured vehicles. A tear ran down Jesus' face. "I'm not a vengeful God. I don't do this for fun. You should love your enemies. I do still have feelings for those people. I do still feel pity. But I had to do this to stop the whole nation of Israel being wiped out."

That evening Jesus sat with the Christians in the temple. He looked at the camera that was above the big screen on the temple wall.
"I would like to invite all the leaders of the world to have dinner with me in the temple in Jerusalem on Friday night." A few minutes later the face of Anita appeared on the screen.
"We're not coming. None of the countries who are still loyal to the United Nations will attend. Not after what you did to that nice Father Antonio Christos."
"Well," said Jesus, "if you don't come, you'll have no rain."
"We can grow food by irrigation."
"Spend the rest of your lives living on that horrible soup, then."

A few miles away, great crowds of people were spontaneously appearing in the streets. This caused a great commotion in a long line of people who were queueing outside a shop.
"Who the Hell are you?" an old man asked a young lady.
"The name's Jenny."
"Where did you come from?"
"I don't know."
"I think I know what this is," said one of the men. "This must be the first resurrection. We were all martyred, right? This is the resurrection of the martyrs. It's in the Bible." The whole group of millions of people from all over the world walked to the temple. Jesus saw them from a distance.
"These are all the Christians who died for their faith. Make sure you give them all a warm welcome. Now the Jews will believe in me too. They're coming tonight. They won't all get in the temple but they can worship me from the streets outside."