The Fabulous Frictionless Funnel of Feeding.

“You’re sure that this is the best nursery in the area?”

“Yes, madam, nowhere is better than here!”

“Where would my baby be situated?”

“Well, I think he would be very happy in the North wing.”

“What about feeding?”

“Ah, we use the very best Guaranteed Optimal Design Fabulous Frictionless Feeding Funnels madam.”

“Are they a good make?”

“Good make? Madam, the GOD F4 is the best in the Universe, designed to grow with your baby.
It starts out supplying a gentle flow of baby food and automatically adjusts to your baby’s appetite.
Not only that but it has a built in filtering device which separates out any solid food and stores it for later when solid foods are important for proper development.”

“I must say that it sounds like it is an ambitious design - are there any hidden dangers?”

“No, madam, not so long as you make sure that their flow is orientated correctly - clockwise in the South wing, anti-clockwise in the North. Theoretically if a clockwise and an anticlockwise were close together they might try to merge but of course two of the same spin repel.”

“Alright, it sounds okay. May I leave my son today?”

“Of course madam your sun will be fine with us until he’s old enough for school. You can pop by whenever you like to see how he’s doing.”

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I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about gravity since I heard about Stephen Hawking’s new book.

Re-reading Newton and Kepler I realised that for Einstein to bend space to fit their laws it would probably result in a funnel.

If you cut a funnel at a right angle you will get a circle but if you cut it at an angle you would get an ellipse.

It seemed to me that if you rolled something down the funnel so that it ran around in a spiral down the funnel that its angle would tend to 45 degrees and that, were it to be frictionless, it would trap most things by their inertia and force them into orbits around the funnel but yet allow hydrogen and probably helium to continue into the ’maw’ of the sun.
Naturally, it would become 'wider' at the top as the baby grew and this would progressively lessen the filtering effect ;O)

It’s been far too nice a day to bother with calculations and deep thinking so instead I thought it might be fun to suggest that stars are the really important life forms and we (the planet Earth) are simply a small snack for when Sol gets around to eating solid food :O)

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Even though it is meant as a joke and there would have to be funnels on both sides of the sun I think in time people will come to realise that star spin plays an enormous role and that it must create gravity funnels.
In our case (for Sol) the funnel we are in must be at a right angle to the Ecliptic.