Our Christmas Animal House

It was afore the Feast of Stephen I do recall,
Copious snow all around my house,
T'was Yuletide smoke that rose so tall,
I would throw open my wreath festooned doors to a mouse.

Not only a mouse but a bear and kangaroo too,
They'd made their escape from the park,
At this time of year they were a runaway crew,
Finding my house in the wood by the lark.

The wardens came and searched for the gang,
They knew all the tricks and traits,
The giveaway was usually the noise of the bang,
Of the various unlocked, opened zoo gates.

This one day of the year my table was full,
Plentiful food just glistened and glowed,
Good will to all things that my cracker would pull,
And pour wine until my glass overflowed.

You might think it strange, a man with a menagerie,
But then whoever said I was a man?
My house was made of sultanas and brie,
And was handed down from my now diceased nan.

This tradition was established and repeated each year,
Much to the various wardens' disgust,
They usually failed to cage us in their lair,
Using too many locks that rust.

We'd celebrate and party in the way we knew best,
Our captors outside engaged in their search,
The blue bear would put the hunt to the test,
And turn on the lights in the church.

The problem was plain for all to see,
The house and the church were coated in dust,
At least it seemed that simple to me,
That the Christmas fairy had arrived in a gust.

It was an eventful arrival; her magic no bluff,
But then she liked to make an impact,
With a wand and a wiggle she'd sprinkle her stuff,
And voila, our hideaway would remain intact.

Sooner or later they'd have to give in,
By then we'd all be asleep,
As the wardens sloped off, enjoying their gin,
Our freedom for a day we could keep.

The following day, the magic would wane,
The intrepid keepers would return,
At least we'd had our fill and on a warm floor lain,
Before their annual bonus the wardens would earn.

It was on the feast of Stephen,
That we were trooped back to our zoo,
The snow did lay crisp and even,
And we thought of next year and escape anew.