What the tabloids say about love!

True love is effortless, ha—so some say.
Some even compare it to child’s play
But whatever it is, it is neither
Child’s play, nor is it effortless, I say.
Just peep at any weekly woman’s magazine
Just scan between the editorial daily ads.
Sure you’ll see how the stalkers get his fads
Come-one-day, he’ll likely be a tabloid murder to.
Who? You say, oh that, deadbeat lonely guy?
That deliberately, acid burned a passer-by
Oh that guy who drove into a lake…
Oh that guy who jumped from a multi storey car park.
Yeah; she that was, two-timing that paroled lag.
You know the one I mean? The one who, said
His girlfriend was nothing more than a slag.
A nymphomaniac who gave him the “clap”
You know the one “I mean” that bunny-boiler
Who leaves her kids alone at home all night?
The one who calls on the neighbours,
In her nightie to use the phone!
But, never travels back home alone
Without giving some dog an adequate bone
Without another uncle Jonny, poking a joke
Or a potential daddy having another raucous Paddy
Ha ah ah—true love is effortless, so they say.
Some even compare it to child’s play
But whatever it is, it is neither
Child’s play, nor is it effortless.
“You can bet your bottom teeth on it”.
Whatever injunction you have put in place!
Whatever T.V. reality shows you
Has, cast your dreams, upon!
It’s all bound to go to wrack and ruin.
The whole F****** human race!
Recession, depression, it’s becoming a world
Divorced, devoid of moral fibre...
If you don’t believe me; just pick up a paper.
Watch your eu leaders closer…
The whole world wants to murder you and rape yeah
But of cause it’s only, human nature.