Friendship to Loneliness

I have not the lover, nor the desire,
though i do exchange love with another.
Love that does not leave me infatuated or entrapped,
but much the opposite.
This civil partnership that i hold
deep within my heart with another,
holds the power of not marriage but of
a deep commitment for my other.
But,
I still feel alone at night and day
as they go, and play away.
Not with my feelings, though not on purpose
as that would be absurd. However,
perverted as my mind is, loathing
over others that are graced,
i still know that is the love we share.
Instead of convention expected of us soul mates.
The bargain of love, that we most deeply share,
cherished in my
loneliness.