New Year's Resolution.

All around the world New Year's resolutions will be made in 2023. The tradition, is over 4,000 years old. Everyone who does one, or more thinks they will keep it up. Study has shown, that less than 25% of people stick with their resolutions after 30 day and only 8% actually accomplish them. (Google 2012 resolutions history deepenglish.com)

I have made a few throughout my adult life from my late teens until now. I have never been able to keep it up, not even for 30 days! If I was able to accomplish 30 days, that would be an achievement.

I used to aim to do 2 or 3, but to try and change my lifestyle for the sake of a new year, is too much, all at once.

Instead to help myself and to make it easier, I just focus now on the one! That single one has eluded me all of my life.

Mine sounds simple, but it just isn’t, yet it really bothers me, but I just don’t know how to do it. The lack of doing it, has often made me quite ill.

Then I promise myself I will do better, this is throughout the year, but it just goes downhill fast, and there is no clawing back up, it is a slippery slope.

Often it breaks my heart. But no one can help me, my kids and husband know my plight, but they are powerless to help me, for only I can help me.

Maybe I should set up a group, where they say when they join, “I am a ……” Maybe if there was money involved and I did what I tried to and had proof, maybe that is the answer?

I am in my sixties now, can a leopard change it’s spots? No, but I am not a leopard, so I have an advantage right there!

I am desperate, I need help. I have used up all my other options and promises to my kids and husband, and now like a person who says, “I will stop smoking, drinking, gambling,” My family has heard me say the, same thing, over and over again, like a broken record.

So, what is this thing that blights my life. Well basically I break my New Year's resolution on the first day, and that is going to bed early, or a reasonable time. Everyone’s early is different, If I was to go to bed at midnight, that would be amazing, but I go to bed 1am, 2am and sometimes 3am and I’m getting up at 6am for work.

My Mum who worked nights, when she was not at work would go to be at 8pm, oh my days! I would just be settling down to watch Morse, at that time.

Since my forties, I have done the unthinkable, I have fallen asleep on the sofa after work, and that is what I do off and on throughout the evening. Sleeping on the sofa is not the same quality of sleep as sleeping in my bed, I know.  Sometimes, I wished I could just click my fingers and be in bed, but there is a process.

In the past, I have even set an alarm on my watch to go off at midnight and for a few days that worked, but then I would go back to sleep again while still on the sofa.

I have deprived myself of precious hours of sleep that I can not get back. There are SO many people around the world who would love to have what I have, and that is the gift of sleep. I have no problems getting off to sleep, I did when I was a teenager, but not now, it’s one of the easiest things I do is sleep, either on the sofa, in bed and sadly while driving!

I need to just channel it, and take myself up to bed, and try to aim for midnight, for that time is more realistic for me, as I only need 3-4 hours sleep in bed, then I will be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

But without the 3-4 hours in bed, I am still bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, it does not affect my work. I wake up early, usually without the alarm, mornings are the best times for me. I love Mornings.

Happy New Year. 2023A.D.