PEACE.

Last year, December on the 4th I suddenly noticed a thick black dot in my left eye. It moved when my eye moved. I decided to ignore it, I was not in any pain. I suppose some may call it a floater, but I’d never seen a floater this colour before. For me usually, floaters were in the air, and fish like, and clear for when I stood up suddenly, then after a few seconds or so, they went.

This thick black dot, didn’t go and was in front of my vision about a foot away, it was noticed when I was looking at a light plain wall or looking into the white bath.

Sometimes it caught me off guard, and I would think it was an insect, and I would try to move it away from me.

Then just when I was getting to accept it, four days later, it changed again. It now changed to a thick black circle, with nothing inside it, and the circle was split in half! I am a natural worrier, but even so, the last place I would go would be to the doctors, I would rather not know. I would rather worry. I mentioned it to my kids and husband.

This week on the same day, but different times, Paul and Meghan asked me, “Is that circle floater still there?” I replied, “Yes.” They both said, “You need to go and check it out.” That was what I didn’t want to hear. I did wish I hadn’t told them, but kept it to myself.

I rang my opticians the next morning, the lady I spoke to was lovely, she asked me triage questions, and carefully documented what I said over the phone. When she was finished, she read it all back to me, she said, “Someone will ring you back, within forty-eight hours.” I replied, “OK.”

Two hours later, a gentleman rang me back, he asked me one or two questions and ask, “Can you come in tomorrow at 10.00am?” I replied, “Yes,” He added, “You will be given eye drops, it will make you have double vision and blurred vision, you must not drive and it is advised that you bring someone with you,” This information alarmed me, and I said, “OK.”

I wondered what I had let myself in for. The mini panics attacks started. I had heard real horror stories of people having things done to their eyes, coming out with damaged eyes, forever, and even blinded! I certainly wasn’t looking forward to it!

Later, that day, at work, I had talked to two of the colleagues and the younger lass she had said, “I have had floaters all my life, I can see them now.” I told them about my brother, he is a nurse, he’d told me, “I’ve had floaters for twenty years.” My brother had added, “It is very common.” I wished now, that I hadn’t booked to have the appointment, I could have saved myself a lot of stress!

During the night, I woke up at 4.00am because I was worried. I didn’t like the thought of someone doing things to my eyes, how experienced would they be? What is the percentage of mistakes?  One a year? One too many in my view. I went back to sleep, twenty years ago I would have got up.

I woke up very nervous a few hours later, my worry meter was now at 10! I did the usual things with the cats and the dogs, making sure they were all fed and watered, emptying the cat litters, doing the dish washer.

Suddenly, at 07.04am PEACE came! It was SO real, it stopped me in my tracks. As real as the fear was, when The Peace came it was That real! God had beaten me to it. For when everything was done, the floors swept, then mopped, cod liver oil with a whole orange, cut into four, then would be my Quiet Time, reading the Bible a Chapter a day, and them Praying. The strange thing was, that now that the Peace was with me, even if I gave it a second thought, it made no difference the Peace remained. I didn’t need to worry now, for everything would be OK. Peace, like this, can’t be bought. It’s not very often it happens, in my life, but boy did I need it today.

I wrote in my diary, then had my Quite Time. I woke up Paul and had a bath and got ready. We walked to the shop and got there in good time.

The Staff there, they were amazing. In total I saw four different Staff, they all did different things. I had a basic eye ‘test’ as I’d already had my eyes tested last year, and usually it is every two years, all was well there. The ‘horrible’ puff of air that was done twice, at the start and the end. They had recommended I have the new £10 scan of the eyes, the one that covers everything, I suppose it’s SO deep it sees right into the very back of your head! Only kidding.

The lady said, “This will sting, I will add the drops into the corner of your eyes, then wait a minute and add more again in the same place, then I will ask you to wait for fifteen minutes in the waiting room, and then other test will be carried out.” I said, “Yesterday and during the night I was very nervous,” She quickly reassured me, (not that I needed it now) and she said, “This is very common, I have already done one of these this morning.” It did sting.

I went back into the waiting room, and chatted with Paul. Nothing seemed to be changing, I looked far away, things across the room seemed the same, until I got a text! I couldn’t see anything. I knew I had a text but I didn’t know who it was from. I was unable to say to the person, “Sorry I can’t reply right now I can’t see, I have had drops put into my eyes.”

I could still see ‘ok’ at a distance, but not see anything on my mobile. I wasn’t worried, I thought it was better than I had expected.

I then was then taken to another room and was given a pair of glasses, that was my reading glasses prescription, I was then told to press the button each time I saw the tiny little light, to my knowledge I saw them all. After everything was done, I was taken back to the eye testing room and was shown the results of the scan, and the other photo they had taken of my eyes today and last year. She told me, “It is just a floater, we have seen nothing that it wrong, your eyes are perfect and healthy.” It was lovely to hear. I was then asked to pay; I went to the till to pay. I couldn’t see anything, no numbers, it is not a ‘tap’ card, so I did my numbers and did it by the shape pattern like up down to the left etc. I thought how many have pressed the wrong numbers!

When I went outside, it was Then I realized why they said, “Do not drive.” It was horrible, unless you have had these drops in, then it is very hard to described. It was like, my eyes were broken. I could not see! Everything was distorted, nothing was clear, I was SO glad to have Paul with me. I would not have felt safe walking with confidence, through the Town and all the way home. I had been told by the shop, “It will take up to five hours for your eyes to go back to normal.” I would hate to see like this forever. It gave me, respect for people, who I have met, who have serious problems with their vision. For them, nothing changes after five hours, for some, it just slowly gets worse over the years, until they are blind.

Walking carefully and slowly through the Town, I felt what it must be like to be on drugs and drunk! I was not in control, I was unsteady, I felt out of my depth! I felt more than that, I felt helpless!

Thankfully, eventually we got back home, that was only where I wanted to be. I had thought, there I would feel safe. Nothing had changed, I felt isolated, hopeless, for I still couldn’t see any of my texts on my phone, and I had no comfort or help, trying to watch the telly. I felt frustrated, for the feeling of unclear vision was not nice. It was SO confusing to try to process what I was seeing.

The here and now did not fill me with hope. I wanted the five hours to hurry up! It didn’t, it dragged and dragged. To be honest, I did feel a tad miserable, but that only lasted for about ten minutes! For I was chuffed to bits that my eyes had been given the all clear.

Then before I knew it, I could see again perfectly, both the telly and my text!

I did feel lucky, grateful, and thankful, for not everyone has the gift of sight. For five hours, I had experienced something awful, for some around the world, this is what they see and experience, every day.

I personally think the eye shop that I went to, is Fantastic! That I was seen within twenty-four hours, and had the results there and then.

I am glad I listened to my Husband and Child, for now I have peace of mind.