Something Is Fishy..............

When I was young, the only two types of cheeses I loved was, the triangle one and the thin square sliced one, that I had with something called Bun n Cheese.

Other than the two types mentioned I didn’t like any other cheese at all. I was a very picky eater.

I remember when my brother and I was on holiday with my god-mother at Scargill House, we were enjoying our meal when my god-mother said, “This Cauliflower cheese, is delicious.” William and I looked at each other, and in horror we put our knife and fork down, and didn’t eat another morsal. Up until then, we had never eaten it before.

When I was sixteen, I went out for a meal, and one of my friends had for her pudding cheesecake, she saw the disgust on my face, and when I said, “How can you have that thick cheese, as a pudding?” She said, “It is not like the cheese in the fridge, it is completely different.” She went on, “Taste it.” I took the tiniest bit and gingerly put it in my mouth.  I was pleasantly surprised.

When I was seventeen, my mum encouraged me to, “Cut up small tiny little cubes of mild cheese to get used to the taste.” I did, it was foul! It smelt horrible and tasted horrible. I persevered and by the time I was twenty I went to work at a place where I would eventually end up working for ten years.

The place I worked for ten years, for my lunch there, I had sandwiches for almost ten of those years. For most of those years I had a cheese sandwich! I had either tomato in it, or raw onion or, cucumber or iceberg lettuce, or just on its own with prawn cocktail crisps. I have never had crisp inside a sandwich, just like I have never had chips inside a sandwich either.  

Something that I often had for supper, was good old cheese and onion on toast, or cheese on toast, covered in tomato ketchup!  Sometimes I would have it for breakfast or lunch too.

With cheese, I ate one of my favourite foods, Bun, and Cheese, I had moved up from the lightweight thin, squared ones, and now I was adding the usual butter on it but thick slices of cheese. I loved it.

I had also learnt to eat something else too, that we didn’t have when we were little mushrooms, so that was added to my cheese on toast.

Of course, omelettes, I loved to make too, with onions, mushrooms, milk, lots of eggs and a good amount of cheese.

In general, I like mild cheese, it has only been in the last five years or so, that I have tried mature cheese. I started off with a small amount on my toast, as it made a huge difference to taste. That was because, mild was either out of stock or the mature was in the reduced section. I also like cheese at parties on a stick with pineapples.

I do not like cheese on top of chips, nor have I ever tried it, nor do I ever plan to. I do now love cauliflower cheese. I have never liked, shop bought grated cheese, it feels and tastes wrong. I do know that cheese with reduced fat, does not melt, as I have bought and used this for my brother.

In general, we buy a large block of mild cheese, this lasts the family a week.

Last week, on my relaxing day off, I had, like I had been doing recently on my days off, I had chopped up a whole onion, and sliced cheese, onto two slices of thick toastie size white bread. Suddenly, without warning, I heard popping from the kitchen and saw smoke coming from the grill!!! My cheese and onion, that I’ve had for years had caught fire!

I put the dog, that was in the kitchen on his bed, outside, and shut the TV room door, so the cats would not be harmed and opened the windows. I removed the toast, they look odd, and not how I expected my cheese and toast to look.

Although they had caught fire, I still ate both. Something was wrong, when I bite into yummy cheese and toast, what you bite stays in your mouth, but I noticed that the bite that I had taken, the whole slice that I had put on the bread also came with it. There was no natural separation, that my teeth should make.

Then twice more, the same thing happened, when I heard the popping sound, I quickly got up before it caught fire again.

That was yesterday, I ate it, but it wasn’t nice like it used to be. The same thing happened, where the whole slice, came off the bread, that is not cheese, I don’t know what it is. It is something, that seems to be passing off, as cheese.

I told my husband Paul, about it, he said, “I will google it, to see if they have changed the ingredients.” Paul looked on the internet. Paul said, “Around the world, there has been outrage!”

Paul said, “Chefs have tried to burn blocks of cheese, and they can’t burn them, the cheese does not melt!” I added, “It is sort of plastic now?” Paul replied, “Yes.”

I have recently, decided to cut down on, the expensive McDonalds, as it’s now over £6 for my favourite meal. I think, although I am not, a healthy heater, plastic cheese on toast does not appeal to me.

I won’t be cutting cheese out of my life; my one brother does not eat any processed food! He is strict! I am not strict! But I think I need to evaluate my life a tad. Cheese has always been known to be fattening, so as I am in my 60’s, I will be doing myself a favour.

I might have to think of what I can eat instead as a comforting breakfast on my days off. I DO love scrambled eggs….. but it is not cheese on toast.  

Something is fishy.