When Christmas Hurts.

I am in a group chat on our mobiles, I grew up with these girls, we are all in our fifties and sixties now, but we are still young in our eyes. I still can’t believe I am in my sixties; it seems like an amazing number and I never thought I would be this age. When the Staff leaves next week, she is in her eighties, then I will be the oldest staff member at work, but I digress.

This group chat that I am in, for I am in a few, we have known each other since I was fourteen and upwards. I have known this group of eight of us, for about thirty to forty years, for I didn’t know them all at once. I have known some of their parents too, the same amount of time. That’s a long time. Forty years.

The first thing I do when I get up in the mornings is to put my Apple watch on, which is downstairs to start counting my steps and I put my Apple mobile in my dressing gown pocket, but before I put it in my pocket I look to see if I have any messages during the night, or in the morning, for there is always someone who is awake for me. With two people I play a fabulous word game called Wordle, one of the girls in the group I play it with her and try to solve it before she does, and the same for her, and I also play with my brother.

So, I open my phone case, and I am puzzled as I am looking at conversations that don't seem to make any sense, to I click on the group chat and start at the top.

The friend Toni who I play Wordle with, she put, “My Mum was rushed to hospital, with covid late last night, and this morning she died at 0615am.

I was stunned! I have known her lovely Mum for forty years and her lovely dad. I just couldn’t take it in, I added my condolences for her loss. What on earth can you say at a time like that? I then text a few people who I knew too would be just as shocked as I am, for this lovely lady in known by many.

My brother was Very upset when I told him. Our Mum has dementia, and I thought, those of us who still have our Mums we will be holding them a little tighter this morning and today, and those who have lost their Mums will be remembering them, and the pain that they went through back then.

My brother told Mum about the lady that died. It was an awful day yesterday, when I would think of Christmas things, and then Toni and her dad would come back to my mind.

Toni’s dad is older than his wife, they are such a lovely couple. I wonder how he will be? I thought about the thoughtful Christmas gifts that would have been bought for her, would the shop take them back, if they are told she died?

I thought, why didn’t they take her to hospital sooner? Why did they wait until late in the night? I did wonder if the ambulance came straight away, I got the impression yes it did. What could they have done differently, I thought? But whatever, I know they didn’t expect her to die! Their lovely adult children, are all amazing, professionals, everyone of them. They love and respect their parents, 100%. In their presence I felt loved and special. That is just the type of family they are.

It hurts me to think, that their lovely Mum is gone! Gone forever, I can’t begin to imagine what they must be going through today.

As I text Toni everyday when I have done Wordle, or she text me, this morning I asked her, “How are you and your dad?” She replied, “Yesterday I drove me and dad down to our sister’s home, where we will spend Christmas.” I replied, “It’s good that you have each other.” For some older people, have no one, no family.

For this family and others who have lost loved ones, Christmas will hurt, for many years to come.

M.W. R.I.P.