Jimmy Bailey

This is the story of Jimmy Bailey, whose coming of age was ruined.
All because he couldn't find a girl to help him do what all the other
boys were doing.

Mary wont and Julie wont,
Denise and Susie Plunkett wont.
Vicky wants to but doesn't know how,
Carol does 'cos her boyfriend said so,
Maureen might if he asked her quite nicely,
Linda's too tiring 'cos she wants it thrice nightly.

Rosie wont and Kathy wont.
Jenny and Jane and Vera wont.
Jaqueline will but she's too expensive,
Florence would if she could remember how.
Nicola tried to but found it distasteful.
Samantha wants to but isn't quite able.

Sally wont and Betty wont,
Abigail Smith-Parsons wont,
Big Bertha will but Jimmy wont.
Sarah would but her husband wont let her,
Donna will but Jimmy wont ask her,
His best friend did and he came back in plaster.

Sheila wont and Catherine wont,
Patricia the parsons daughter wont.
Veronica will but she has to get drunk,
Helen will but she does it too fast.
Melanie cried the last time she did it,
She got it all wrong and her partner was livid.

Diana wont and Christine wont,
Shirley the local good sport wont.
Margaret will but she wants lots of practice,
Mandy will if her parents can watch,
Veronica will for a little donation,
But now she can't make it, she broke her probation.

So poor Jimmy Bailey,
Had no luck at all.
He danced the Tango alone.
At the sixth form ball.