Hot sad nights

We don't sleep at night anymore.. It's too hard,

like sitting an exam you haven't revised for or your first day

as a chef when you lied on your CV.

We used to love that our bedroom.

It's got our favourite paintings on the wall. Photos of your sisters

the little book shelf of special books too good

for the main book shelves and the wardrobe your granddad made,

imagine being a carpenter and being able to make things out of wood

and I didn't think you were being serious

on that hot sad night at 3 am when you said let's go for a swim

and we got in the car and drove to the sea

and met another couple, and their dog

who said they always slept on the beach and  shared

their bottles of ice tea and the next day at work

it was like we'd worked out a way to step into our dreams.