I only wanna laugh

It's the hour before bedtime

and you have glum in your mouth.

I used to collect jokebooks. In second hand

bookshops and on market stalls I'd head straight

to the humour section and I wonder when it was

I learnt you have to have a good sense of humour.

Every day since I've been here a little bit of me has changed.

We all change all the time but right now

I'm like the sheepdog that becomes indistinguishable

from its sheep or like the sheep who realise this dog

isn't up to much maybe someone else needs to take charge. 

I used to read the jokebooks before I went to bed

My parents would have to come into my room

and ask me to stop laughing which must have felt an odd thing

to ask someone you love to have to do.

When I worked in a hotel we were always laughing

all of us on the front desk quickly formed into the laughing

and non laughing groups and the people who didn't laugh

just didn't understand what we were doing but the thing is

I used to have a highlighter pen and go through each one

of the 1001 Funniest Jokes Ever book I was given for Christmas

and all of us are going to die, the three of us say

in our probation meeting, the hotel manager furious

that none of us ever take anything seriously

and we were all good at our job but the thing is,

we had met each other and we loved each other

and when was the last time anyone stopped you

to ask if you'd like to hear something funny.