My night out

On my first pint I was quiet. 'Easter's early this year' I thought about saying. I settled on being subdued rather than boring.

I didn't enjoy my second pint. Just listened to everyone else. Looked at my empty glass and wished they would drink a bit quicker.

My third pint was supposed to be my last but then Charlene and Joe arrived and everyone decided to stay for one more.

My fourth pint I explained an episode of Seinfeld where Kramer sells his suit for three hundred dollars. I don't know why I thought of that particular episode. Or why I told everyone else about it. And no-one else was either.

During my fifth pint I introduced myself to a girl on the other side of the table who wasn't saying much. She told me she owned a jam factory. I asked if it was a person's job to put labels on jars all day. She thought I was trying to be funny but I wanted to know about the labels.

When I was on my sixth pint my friend Mark said he was thinking about having a haircut. I said he shouldn't. I said he suited scruffy hair. Most people said he should. I said I wanted my hair cut too. A girl called Ruth said if we went to her house on Saturday she'd cut it for us. She had a Btec before she got the job at the hotel. She'd cook us paella. None of us were sure if we'd go or not or if the offer was a real one or not but we both said yes. I wrote ‘Ruth hair Sat’ on my hand with a bookies pen.

My seventh pint my friend Chelsey asked if I'd ever had a pickled egg. There was a jar behind the bar. I said no and she said let's try one. When everyone else saw us eating pickled eggs they wanted them too. The barman laughed when the jar was empty. His name was Tony. He'd been collecting our glasses all evening.

I took the whole table's empties back to Tony before ordering my eight pint. Mark called a taxi for him and his girlfriend and Chelsey said she was going the same way so she went too. I thought I'd lost my hat but I hadn't. All of us said goodbye. It was the day before Good Friday and none of us had to go to work in the morning.