Ode To The Broken Hearted Submissive

By Michael101662

Sat, 25 Jul 2009
  • 974 reads
4 comments
 

i glance about with wondering eyes
saddened and shaken
i raise my gaze up to the skies
seeking beyond the clouds what lies

i ponder my worth
to nobody there
from the moment of birth
did anyone really care

my gaze drifts to the sand
the cold sea nipping my feet
the shifting of the land
the depth there to greet

was this the way it was meant to be
lonely and alone in the sunset
welcoming the coldness of the sea
as it rises to envelope me

i think of the silent masses
that never gave a second thought
i watch as the time passes
my last breath in my throat was caught

eyes closing to the darkness below
the wetness of the sea rising
for it is my time to go
with no one realizing

myself i grant one last look
and then the waves cover
the sand below shook
and finally, it was over

Certificate U
Poem
Romance

Comments

Submitted by Belle Green on
This is a well written poem, but it made me sad. Keep your heart open, and people will flock to you, especially the special ones that will hold your heart and yours theirs forever.

Submitted by Richard L. Prov... on
Hello Michael, yes, this is a sad poem. But that's okay, since a writer has to learn to write with all emotions fired up. Now try writing this poem again with all your best intentions being realized. A writer must develop the ability to write about the same issues from all viewpoints. Cheers. Richard LP
Richard L. Provencher

Submitted by hilary west on
This is a good poem, though I found the ending a bit anti-climactic. 'And finally it was over' is too abrupt.What about 'The final page in life's book' for the final line ?.

 

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Michael101662 Hello Michael I was getting so interested but the ending very sad and abrupt did you mean it that way maybe it true in ways.Certainly makes reader sit up! How about then I wake! up and realise I was in a dream state I must turn away from the sea which was calling me Never mind the weather Never mind the rain back to my poetry! again. julie