Make a wish

I could feel the sun peering in through the window.  It hurt to open my eyes so I kept them closed.  I couldn’t do it for long though.  The sun was burning through my eyelids.  I wanted to get out of bed but I just didn’t have the energy. 

 

“Morning honey,” said Mum as she burst through the door.  “Merry Christmas,” she said as she scooped me up so I could sit upright.

 

“Thanks Mum,”  I said smiling as she beamed at me, her eyes glistening.  Dad came stumbling in the room after her.

 

“Merry Christmas son,” he said as the mattress springs moaned beneath him.

 

“John, do you have to throw yourself on the bed like that?”

 

“I didn’t. I….”

 

“It’s fine Mum,” I said holding her hand. “It’s fine.”

 

She looked at my hand and placed her other hand on top of mine.  She did this a lot nowadays.  The silence hung in the room.

 

“Where’s Tilly?”

 

“Oh she’s still sleeping Hon.”

 

“Well, we can’t open our presents without her!”  My eyes felt like they were going to pop out of my head.  I wanted Tilly here too.

 

“John, go and wake up Tilly.”  I looked at Dad’s face.  No words were spoken.  Their eyes did all the talking.  The bed slowly moaned as Dad reluctantly removed himself from it.  Didn’t Tilly want to be here?

 

“OK, your sister will be here in a moment, don’t worry.”

 

I smiled back at her because I knew that’s what she would want me to do but deep down I was worried.  I was worried because grown ups seem to always say don’t worry when you should be worried.  Like the time when Ruff became ill and we took him to the vet. “Don’t worry,” Mum said.  He died the following week.  When Tilly got that awful hair cut and Mum said “Don’t worry, no one will notice.”  She was teased for a year.  And it was like the time when I waited for my results and Mum said “Don’t worry, everything will be fine……..”

 

In walked Tilly.  She didn’t look like she’d just woken up, though her eyes were really red.

 

“Took your time,” I said.  She smiled faintly. “We’ve been waiting for you to open presents.”

 

“Well, I’m here now.”

 

“Where’s your Dad?” said Mum.

 

“He was right behind me,” said Tilly as Mum rolled her eyes.

 

“ I’m here, I’m here,” said Dad as he stumbled in with bags full of presents.  He dumped them on the bed to Mum’s horror.  I’ve never see her move so fast.

 

“John , really!”

 

“Mum it’s OK,” said Tilly removing the presents from the bed. “Isn’t it Jake?”

 

“Yes, it’s fine. You need to stop worrying.”

 

Mum smiled faintly.  “Well let’s get these presents open!” She said handing me a huge box.  “This is from me and your father.”

 

“Merry Christmas son,” said Dad as he kissed me on the forehead.

 

I tried my best to rip the paper off but the tape was so strong.

 

“John I told you that it was too much,” said Mum running her fingers through her hair in frustration.

 

“It’s OK Mum.  Helps to build the suspense,” said Tilly, linking her arm through Mums.  “Besides, it’s not as if Jake doesn’t know what it is……….” she said smiling.

No, it could never be.  I started pulling at it from every angle possible.  this tape was not going to get the better of me.  I could hear them all laughing, even Mum managed to crack a smile.

 

“The Intergalactic starship from Enterprise to the Stars!  I can’t believe you got me this!”

 

“Merry Christmas son,” said Dad ruffling my hair. “Shall we take it out the box?”

I nodded.  I had wanted it for so long.  Mum had said it was too expensive.  She and Dad had been struggling because of everything that has happened.  They tried to keep me from hearing things but sometimes when things got heated I’m sure even Sally at the end of the road could hear.  I wonder if she will come round today?  I hope not.

 

It was so brilliant to look at.  I remember Mrs Kinski asking everyone what they wanted to be when they grew up.  I always said a pilot, but I imagined that by the time I grew up there would be aircrafts flying around in space like they do on earth and finally we would have found a way to live on Mars.  I wonder if that will happen.  If someone else will live the dream that I have always had.  I sure hope so.

 

“It’s brilliant Mum and Dad.  Thanks.” Dad gave me a hug but Mum just smiled from the end of the bed.  I could see how much effort it was taking her to hold back the tears.  She daren’t move.  She was like one of those statues in Madame Tussauds.  It would have been funny if it wasn’t so tragic.

 

“Here’s my present Jakey,” said Tilly.

 

I opened her present with ease.

 

“I thought you could be pilot for the day,” she said as Mum stroked her hair.  It was a pilot’s uniform.

 

“Dad, can I put it on?”

 

“You’ll need to get in the bath first Jake.  We have guests coming round for lunch so we’d better get a move on,” said Mum.

 

“Aren’t we going to the pub for Christmas lunch like we normally do?”

 

They all looked at each other.

 

“They don’t do it at this time of year son.  Besides it would be difficult with all of this.”  I looked around at the wires and the IVs hanging around my bed and I was brought back to my reality.

 

“But, I…I wanted a normal family Christmas,” I said now sniffling like a baby.  I hated this.  I hated it all.  I just for one day wanted it to be normal.

 

“And it will be, as normal as it can be Jakey.  It will just be here instead of the pub.  They will still be providing the food,” said Tilly swapping places with Dad who disappeared from the room.

 

“Pigs in blankets?”

 

“Yup!”

 

“Mini stuffing balls?”

 

“Yup!”

 

I had to think.  What did I want the most?

 

“And Santa, so we can make wishes?”

 

“Yup! And he’s gonna bring his elves!” said Tilly excitedly.

 

“OK.  That’s not so bad.  Mum, I wanna bath so I can put on my pilot outfit.”

 

“OK, Tilly, can you help your father get the table ready and clean up the living room.”

 

“Yes Mum.  See you later Jakey!”

 

I smiled.  OK, so we weren’t in the pub, but everything else will be just like Christmas.  I was just happy Mum wasn’t cooking.  I didn’t want my last Christmas meal to be charcoal chicken.

 

After the bath I had put on my pilot uniform.  I loved it.  If I had the energy I would have jumped up and whooped.  Mum wheeled me out into the living room and everything had been set.  The table was decorated, tinsel hung from every corner.  The plastic tree was in the corner.  They couldn’t find a real one, it wasn’t the season, so they sprayed pine air freshener.  It was brilliant.

 

“It’s great Mum,” I screamed.

 

“I’m glad you love it,” she said as the doorbell rang.

 

“And there is our first guest,” she said running to the door.

 

“Mrs Jacobs, thanks so much for coming.”  God, it was Sally and her Mum.

 

“Why, we wouldn’t miss it for the world,” said Mrs Jacobs face but I could tell from Sally’s that she didn’t agree at all.

 

“Go on in Sally and give Jake his present.”

 

“Why do I have to give him a present?  It’s not even Christmas, it’s not fair. Ow!” she shouted as her Mum pinched her in the arm.

 

“Shut up and give him the present with a smile,” she said through gritted teeth.

Sally dragged herself towards me and placed the present in my lap, then walked off in the corner to sulk.

 

“Thanks,” I said under my breath while Mum smiled and guided Mrs Jacobs through into the kitchen.

 

The doorbell rang on and on like that for a while, people coming in, commenting on my outfit, how great the place looked.  There was only one person I was looking for.

 

“What’s up Jake?” said Tilly.

“Where’s Santa?”

“He’s coming, just running a bit late that’s all.  Let’s go to the table, they’ve started to dish up some nibbles.”

“Are you sure he’s coming?  Are you sure that he hasn’t forgotten about me?”

Tilly looked directly at me stooping down to eye level.  “As if he’d forget about you.  Don’t be so silly.  Come on have something to eat.”

 

The table was set and the food was overflowing and they had everything there even the Turkey, which I have to say is my least favourite.  I tried to eat as much as I could and savour every bite.

 

The bell had rung.  I sat there in hope that it would be…. and it was!

 

“Santa!” all the kids screamed including me.  They all started running from the table and I would have been with them except I didn’t have the energy to get out of this stupid chair.

 

Mum got up and talked to Santa.  I could tell that she wasn’t happy with him at all for being late.

 

“Right kids, Santa is going to set up his grotto and you’ll all get your turn.  Come back to the table and eat.”

 

Reluctantly they all returned but the food was no longer appetising.  Everyone was discussing what they were going to ask him for.

 

“What are you going to ask for Jake?” said my cousin Nattie.

“There’s no point him asking for anything, its not like you’re gonna be alive to enjoy it,” said Sally.

 

The whole room went silent.  Mrs Jacobs opened her mouth to say something, probably apologise but Dad shut her down.

 

“Don’t say a word.  Just get up, get out and take that poisonous little brat with you.”

 

Mrs Jacobs scooped up a protesting Sally and left. 

 

“Don’t worry Dad.  It isn’t Christmas without some sort of argument,” I said.  At this everyone laughed and Dad ruffled my hair.

 

“The grotto is ready,” said Mum.  “Jake, you go first.”

 

Mum wheeled me over, scooped me out of the chair and put me on Santa’s lap.  She stood there waiting.

 

“Mum you have to go.  I want to speak to Santa on my own.”

 

“But I have to put you back in your chair…”

 

“Please go.  My wish won’t come true otherwise.”  I could tell Mum was in two minds of what to do.

 

“I’ll call you when we finish,” Santa said.  Reluctantly Mum left.

 

“Ho, ho, ho.  So how are you little fella.”

“Been better,” I said to which Santa smiled.

 

“Well, let’s see if I can help with that.  What would you like for Christmas?”

 

I had been waiting for this moment so long that I hesitated.  In my mind I knew I was asking for the impossible but if anyone could do it, surely it would be Santa.

“Well, son?”

 

I looked up at his spectacled eyes.  “I would like to live to see at least another Christmas.”

 

Santa was silent.

 

“Did you hear me Santa?”

 

“Oh, I heard you son, but you see that is not really something I can do.”

 

“Can you not try?  Talk to God or something.  I have been good all year and I’m not asking for loads more years, just one more Christmas.  If I get a transplant maybe that could happen, but I have been on the list so long that everyone has given up.  I haven’t given up and I know that you are the only one that can help me.  Please can you try?”

 

Santa stared at me.  I wasn’t sure what he was thinking.

 

“Santa, are you crying?”

 

“No,” said Santa wiping his eye.  “Santa just has a little dust in his eye.  Look I will have a word with the big guy upstairs but you understand I can’t promise anything.”

 

I threw my arms around him.  That’s all I wanted.  Was for him to try.

 

“But in the meantime, here is a cuddly toy.”

 

“Thanks Santa!  Oh, and please don’t tell anyone what I asked for.”

 

“Sure son.”

 

He called my Mum and she took me back to the dining room where all the other kids were paying games.  I felt happier now, like there was some hope. 

 

It was the best day and really tiring for me.  I asked for Tilly to put me to bed. 

 

“Did you enjoy Christmas Jakey?”

 

“Yes, I did, but can I tell you something Tilly.”

 

“Yeah, sure.”

 

“It won’t be my last.”  Tilly sat there in silence with a quizzical look on her face.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I’m going to live to see another Christmas.”

 

“Jake, didn’t Mum and Dad explain what the doctors said.

 

“Yes, but doctors aren’t always right and I asked Santa if I could live for another Christmas and he said he would speak to the big guy upstairs.”

 

“He said what?!!” said Tilly as she got up from the bed ready to head out of the room.

 

“Tilly don’t, please.”  She stopped at the door.

 

“Jake, there is nothing Santa, the “big guy”, or anyone else can do ok.  I wish there was Jake but there isn’t.”

 

“Well I think there is.  I believe that a miracle can happen.  Please just try and believe too and please don’t say anything to Mum and Dad.”

 

Tilly just stood there staring at the carpet.

 

“Tilly?”

 

“OK.  I promise.”

 

“Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?”

 

“OK,” she said as lay down beside me stroking my hair.

 

“Wake up!”

 

Slowly I opened my eyes.  I wasn’t sure what time it was but outside was still dark and Mum hovered over the bed in her nightgown.  Tilly was still asleep, lying beside me.

 

“Tilly!”

 

“What,” she said looking confused as to where she was.  “What is it, has something happened.  Jake,” she said turning towards me startled.

 

“I’m OK, I’m OK.”

 

“Well what is it?”  said Tilly.

 

“They’ve found a match.  We need to get down to the hospital right away.”

 

“What?  Really?”

 

“Yes.  Help me get Jake dressed.”

 

Tilly looked at me he eyes wide open, her mouth agape.

 

“Told you,” I whispered smiling.

 

They got me ready for the hospital.  Tilly sat in the back of the car with me. 

 

“Jake, don’t get your hopes up.  You might not be well enough to receive the transplant,” she said.

 

“I’ll be well enough.  You said you would try and believe,” I said.

 

“You’re right I did. Positive thinking,” she said holding my hand.

 

“Positive thinking,” I said smiling.

 

It was weird being back in the hospital.  It was the first time in ages that I could see hope in the doctors and nurse’s faces when they spoke to me.  For once I didn’t mind if they poked and prodded me as each poke and prod was the first step towards me getting back to being me.

 

As I lay in the bed, Tilly didn’t leave my side.  It was as though she thought that if she did I might disappear.  I held her hand.  She daren’t look at me in the eye.

 

“It’ll be OK,” I whispered.  Mum and Dad came in the room with the Doctor.  They had both been crying.

 

“He’s not well enough is he,” said Tilly, her voice breaking.

 

Mum started weeping, dad holding her. “He is,” she said over and over again between sobs.

 

“What?” said Tilly.  “You mean..”

 

“They’re gonna do the transplant,” I said finishing her sentence.

 

“They’re gonna do the transplant,” said Dad holding Mum.

 

“They’re gonna do it,” said Tilly smiling at me.  “Merry Christmas Jakey,” she said hugging me as the Doctor looked at us quizzically.