The Witch Doctor Consults his Divorce Lawyer

The Witch Doctor Consults his Divorce Lawyer

Who can say which comes first – the cane toads
with their bassoons or the rainstorm? The red-faced
monkey or the trees with their handy branches?

She is not the boss lady. She wanted me, the master
shaman, to sweep the kitchen tiles! To do
ironing! I have spirit tunnels underneath

my home, I have the rattle and the white fire,
tobacco water flows out of my ears! Who can say
which is first: light or dark, hot

coffee on my shirts or a stupid wife. She polished
the stairs too much and look: she fell down.
I busy myself with books from the Amazon.com.

What? No, she is lying. I did not push
her around. I never sent any tsentsak
after her. I could have, you know, I could

eat the ayahuasca and control invisible darts.
Did I tell you that she stole my car? Yes,
the Porsche, took it to our son's football match

she claims. Yes, it does have leather seats.