Darkness
By MissTee
Thu, 08 Dec 2011
- 776 reads
3 comments
I lie in bed with him so near,
I know I’m lucky to have him here,
And in my heart we are as one,
And all my tears and fears have gone.
Wrapped up tight within his arms,
I know that I cannot be harmed,
As darkness creeps in to my room,
To encase me in her sleepy tomb.
And in the morning when I wake,
All my dreams I would forsake,
And every battle I would fight,
To share with him another night.
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Comments
Nice rhyming poem of love!
Permalink Submitted by hilary west on
Nice rhyming poem of love!
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Lines 3-4 of the middle
Lines 3-4 of the middle stanza do it for me. The use of this rhyme scheme makes it difficult to bring a suitable level of gravity to the piece but overall I think that you have succeeded. Well done.
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It's really hard to make
It's really hard to make these kind of rhymes work and I think you've done a very good job on them, the message of the poem comes over very well. scratch has pointed out the middle bit already and those lines bring a nice bit of darkness to the poem.
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