Acceptance

Cherry

By MistakenMagic

Sat, 06 Dec 2008
  • 4488 reads
14 comments
 

My mother drew out
my cries in a glittering net
from the pit of my stomach.
She placed each
within a tiny lavender bag
tied with purple ribbon -
left them to decay
on the radiator.

As for my heart -
well, one flash
of a needle and thread
across the rift
would do the trick.
“Because,” she said,
“That boy never was
good enough for you
anyway.”

Certificate U
Poem
Conversation With My Thirteen-Year-Old Self
Love

Comments

Submitted by littleditty on
this is so lovely! I love the fish fisherwoman tears catch idea, the lavender bag of tears on the rad -aw! decay, a strong word there, good i think, evaporate it weaker, and after all, tears are full of proteins! - could be expanded this fishery imagery - words like shoal, catch/caught etc - its lightly done now, and fine as is, if you ever fancy reworking it, could lose the double 'in'. Nice one Magic, and a very nice Mother poem -well done xx

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Thank you Nathan and ld! Yes, Nathan, I'm afraid to say this is true. My boyfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago and my mum has been very supportive and is helping me get back on my feet - even though we argue now and then. ld do you mean lose the 'in' in the first line so it would just be 'my mother drew'? Magic xxx

 

Submitted by littleditty on
only if you were to rewrite i meant, to many ins perhaps, this works well too i think, snip one: My mother drew in my cries, a glittering net from the pit of my stomach. She placed each within a tiny lavender bag tied with purple ribbon - left them to decay on the radiator.

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Oh I see! Hmmm . . . I'll sleep on it and come to it in the morning. (Time to watch British Comedy Awards!) Thanks for the advice ld :) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
It often helps so much, to write things down and share our not so good times. And if you can write things down as beautifully as this, then you surely do have the upper hand. Tina xx

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Thank you so much Nathan and Tina :) I showed my mum the poem and told her all the lovely things people have been saying about her on ABC - I said 'You're getting more reviews than the poem is!' Magic xxx

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Oh and ld, coming back to the rewrite. I agree there are too many 'ins'. How about this; 'My mother drew out my cries in a glittering net' Just a thought ;) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Bradene on
Agree with all here, a beautiful piece of work, but then unhappiness often produces some of our best I always think. Your work reflects your name anyway, MAGIC. Val x

Submitted by littleditty on
good'un i reckon - but i think i might be experiencing envy presently: you got to see the Brit Comedy Awards!!!!!!! I am settling for colour therapy from Paraty, Brazil - enjoy Magic, write on.. http://images.google.com.br/images?hl=pt-BR&q=paraty&btnG=Pesquisar+imag...

 

Submitted by jennifer on
Superb, just lovely imagery in the first stanza. Heartfelt, well done! Jen x

 

Submitted by tamara on
Absolutely lovely Magic.Lynne.x

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Thank you Jen and Lynne for your lovely comments :) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by PedroJulio on
Straight from the heart, truly felt, just wonderful! Congrats!

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Sorry PedroJulio only just noticed your comment! Thank you so much for your kind words ;) Magic xxx