Our Love

Cherry

By MistakenMagic

Mon, 06 Sep 2010
  • 9200 reads
31 comments
 

"Just like two saints or priests or nuns
my true love and I lay without touching."

- Leland Bardwell

We spend our days in rooms
full to the brim with sunlight;
yet these beams are a barrier,
blocking us from each other.

This, our celestial dance,
has become the familiar;
a perfect orbit, no clashes,
no more can be said about it.

I remind myself that our love
is better, softer, purer than others.
Yes, our love's bed sheets
are bright and white and clean and flat.

Still... I find myself touching things,
knowing your fingers have been there before;
try to lift their prints from paper, pens...
and rub them into my skin, let them sink in.

And at night I dream. I dream
of a dismantling; a collapse of the sun
and her beams... that you will come to me,
carrying your touch - your fingertips

so heavy with it: all, and only, for me.
I wake with their weight on my lips,
the memory of the dream whispering:
"His kiss... his kiss... his kiss..."

Certificate PG
Poem
The Poet Who Fell in Love
Love

Comments

Submitted by littleditty on
brilliantly told, beautiful poem -well done magic xx

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Thank you, ld! Glad you enjoyed ;) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Curse of 222 on
i concur...beautiful! the idea of lifting fingerprints in the forth stanza is fantastic. jason

jason

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Cheers Jason! :) That image is one of my favourites too! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Beeme on
I think this is stunning Magic! Beautiful imagery, I also love the fingerprinting image. I also really like the idea of the sunlight becoming a barrier! More than well done on this one :-) Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Thank you, Beeme! Glad you like those images :) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by maggyvaneijk on
Stunning! I love how you've used the simple objects in the room to say something deeper about their love. I particularly enjoyed: I find myself touching things, knowing your fingers have been there before; try to lift their prints from paper, pens... and rub them into my skin, let them sink in. There's such a delicacy to your writing. It's a pleasure to read.

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Thank you so much, Maggy, for such a lovely comment! I guess this poem was about a raw sort of love, I didn't want to overdo it with elaborate imagery - so I'm glad you think I've pulled it off ;) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by darkenwolf on
Their essence fills everything and each little object holds its own memory. Fantastic as always magic - sometimnes i think you read my mind. ;)

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Ah, well writing about love is reading the minds of the masses, Bruce ;) Glad you like this one! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
This is wonderful, Magic, as most certainly, the cherry endorses;-) I too love the way you have used the mundane, ordinary things in life to enhance your imagery. Also the 'astronomy' reference works really well. My favourite stanza, this one:- "This, our celestial dance, has become the familiar; a perfect orbit, no clashes, no more can be said about it." Tina xxx

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Thank you, Tina! I couldn't resist returning to astronomy imagery ;) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Kahdai on
Your celestial dances & orbits has become familiar to me too, Ii really like when you explain love this way Magic :) & understand the special kindof never touching love, xxxK

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "

Submitted by lenchenelf on
Very prettily done, you've maintained control over structure, tension and passion, while lending an element of the eternal or timelessness in your imagery :-) atb Lena xx

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Thank you, Kahdai! :) Happy you can relate to this one! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
'timelessness' - I like that idea, Lena! Thanks for your comment :) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Kahdai on
Ofcourse, you always manage to make things sound like that Magic! Infinite & magical, thats one of the things Ii like best, as am in contented awe of infinity & magic! ;) K xxx

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "

Submitted by rjnewlyn on
I concur about the astronomy - it works very well. The idea of separate orbits is a great image for love's confusion (and the idea of the collapsing sun that dream that never quite happens). Great stuff... Rob

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Thank you, Rob! Glad you liked that astronomy imagery as science has never been my strong point ;) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on
All that can be said has been said, Rebecca. I can only add: 'Bravissima'. Luigi xxx

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Grazie mille, Luigi ;) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by vidit.chopra on
"I find myself touching things, knowing your fingers have been there before; try to lift their prints from paper, pens... and rub them into my skin, let them sink in. And at night I dream. I dream of a dismantling; a collapse of the sun and her beams... that you will come to me, carrying your touch - your fingertips so heavy with it: all, and only, for me. I wake with their weight on my lips, the memory of the dream whispering: "His kiss... his kiss... his kiss..." Stunning lines and a stunning poem. Another epic from the magic wand ;) Well done!

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Thank you, Vidit! Lovely to hear from you again ;) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on
Read this in the magazine and thought it was wonderful, richly evocative description and beautifully told with real skill. Fab. :-)

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Thank you for coming back to find this one, fatboy74! Really glad you enjoyed :) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by JoseHdz on
especially liked the last stanza..great job as usual. cheers.

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Thank you, Jose! :) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by kheldar on
Absolutely beautiful xx :--)

cool

Submitted by Nolan on
One wonders what it is, “carrying your touch - your fingertips”. There is no substitute, what can it be? It can only be spiritual &&
 

Submitted by Kahdai on
sunbeams, maybe means the warm memories?

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "

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