If I Knew Who I Was I Would Tell You

By MistressDistress

Tue, 09 Feb 2010
  • 1121 reads
6 comments
 

If I knew exactly who I was
could analyse each thread of thought
traced in my labyrinthine mind
and tease reason from
incongruous actions in my past
I would share this all with you

If I could map my heart
write my desires dreams and fears
on your outstretched palm
and spell my soul
as we knelt in the sand
I would hide nothing from you

If I could read the stars
divine our paths by instinct
and plot the point of intersect
prepare myself to pour me
into you
that's what I'd do

If we knew exactly who we were
wore our shining lives like cloth-of-gold
and never regretted a shimmering instant
we would be gods

Certificate U
Spiritual

Comments

Submitted by Kahdai on
Ofcourse! (You can) & please when you can, share with me, I would like to be like that too. xx DXM

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "

Submitted by jennifer on
Lovely sentiment, but lacks punctuation and I therefore find it alienating to read, especially with your use of enjambement. 'shimmering instant' = great imagery. J x

 

Submitted by Kahdai on
enjambment-french-A technique in poetry whereby a sentence is carried over to the next line without pause. Where is this? Kp x

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "

Submitted by jennifer on
Well, you tell me - read the poem as if it were prose, in complete sentences, ignoring line breaks, and it will become obvious. J x

 

Submitted by Kahdai on
a few places I think but most effective pour me into you thats

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "

Submitted by MistressDistress on
Yep, the enjambement was intended to give the impression of distance, the writer's feeling of detachment. The sense of things left unsaid. Is it Emily Dickinson who allowed herself to use enjambement, or am I thinking of someone else? :)