Chaos or Nativity Play

Chaos or Nativity Play

One of the most memorable events in my young life took place just
before I left primary school. The only real thing I can bring to mind
from those days was standing in the corner of the classroom. I must
have got to know every crack and brick in that corner. Sometimes I even
made the cracks into maps. Well to cut this short it was getting
towards Christmas of 1950 and as It was my last year at this school,
Miss Haslam, the teacher decided I was to have a part in the nativity
play. The usual thing was for the whole class to take part, with
several important parts taken by the chosen kids.

During the casting of the parts a minor scuffle broke out, I had been
given the part of Joseph and several kids thought they should be given
it. The main argument was that I was a Catholic and Joseph wasn't. The
teacher broke up the argument, we carried on. She managed to keep the
peace by saying Joseph wasn't Church of England, or a Baptist, so it
didn't matter who played him. In the end I had to play Joseph. Another
scuffle broke out amongst the girls. They argued over who was going to
play Mary. One of the girls who was eager to play Mary even volunteered
her new-born brother as the baby Jesus. Miss Haslam wasn't convinced
that the girl's mother would agree to this. She remembered what
happened to baby Jesus last year. Someone dropped him on his head,
luckily it was only a doll.

Finally the teacher had the main parts cast, after many arguments
between the class. One kid even had the nerve to say why should the
part of Mary be given to a girl. We all looked puzzled at this remark.
I certainly didn't want to play the girls part. The girl who had been
chosen to play Mary was Irish and she looked the part with her long
black hair. Her name was Rosainne and she had several brothers who were
most protective of her. They didn't cause me any problems because they
knew of my Irish background, and they had also seen me in Sunday
school. I had seen her brothers beat the living shit out of kids who
happened to be brave enough to get near to her. Three of her brothers
were to play the shepherds, this had been decided by threats. Miss
Haslam said they couldn't possibly play the wise men, as this needed
someone intelligent looking. After further scuffles the cast was
chosen. The hardest job was to come.
So looking at the cast went something like this

Mary Rosainne Doyle
Joseph Michael Patrick
Inn keeper David Smith
1st wise man Frankie Johnson
2nd wise man Freddie Hall
3rd wise man John Corbett
1st shepherd Sean Doyle
2nd shepherd Patrick Doyle
3rd shepherd Kevin Doyle
The rest of the class was to act as background people and angels, they
were also expected to double as the choir. The actual work on the stage
and other things such as papier-mache animals was left to the rest of
the school. So that everyone had a part to play. Parents donated old
clothes, one parent even had her jewellery donated, though she didn't
know about it. After a visit to the headmistress the girl's ma
retrieved her jewellery. For the next few weeks. The school was a hive
of activity. Cardboard animals of every shape and size were being
produced. The papier-m?ch? animals had not proved to be a very good
idea, especially after Kevin Doyle shoved Freddie Hall's head into the
mix. It took ages to calm Freddie down plus a visit from his ma. This
resulted in threats from Freddie's ma directed at the headmistress. So
after this incident cardboard cut-outs were thought to be safer. After
one of the cardboard cows finished up looking like a dog with horns.
The teacher drew the animals and the kids cut them out. This way we
finished up with cows looking like cows and sheep looking like what
they were supposed to.
We spent days rehearsing and trying to get it right, but there was
always something happening to slow us down. Mary (Rosainne) said she
didn't like the colour of her robes, after a quick visit to the
Catholic Church this was resolved. Another incident was when one of the
stars fell from the sky and hit Sean Doyle on the head. This provoked a
scuffle with the stage manager. Sean said he had done it on purpose,
another bloodied nose, another irate parent and we got on with the
rehearsals. Soon we had it running smoothly. We even had the addition
of a real animal. Kevin had bought his Labrador along and promised on
all the saints in heaven that he would just lie there. The teacher
allowed this, she said it would give the animals some reality, whatever
that was.
A few days before the actual rehearsal we all had to line up and show
our costumes off to the rest of the school. This was one of the biggest
mistakes made. Mary looking all saintly and virginal caused someone to
whistle at her. The problem was, eagle eyed Patrick Doyle had seen who
it was. Not realising that he had on a long flowing bed sheet, he tried
to run into the audience to punish the offending whistler. All he
managed to do was trip up over his bed sheet and fall full length into
the audience. This started the audience off, they were laughing and
jeering at Patrick, who by now was glowing red with embarrassment. The
other two brothers decided to leave it alone not wanting to share their
brother's embarrassment. One of the teachers came to the rescue and
helped shorten the bed sheets, she most certainly didn't want this
happening on the night. My outfit was ok except for the beard. It kept
falling off. Someone suggested glueing it onto my face. I suggested I
glue my fist to his face. Again the teacher came to the rescue with
elastic and yet again another scuffle was avoided. Eventually we all
had our costumes fitting just right. The angel's wings were the
problem, they kept catching on the other kids. Sean Doyle pulled one
set of wings off the angel, the angel ran off crying to the teacher so
Patrick gave him some fist for being a cry- baby. This made matters
worse and resulted in another parent visiting the headmistress.
According to Freddie Hall, who had been listening at the door. What she
had said to the headmistress was.
'Why do you put up with these bloody little Irish hooligans, send them
to the bloody Catholic School at St Mary's'.
The headmistress was having a job calming the woman down and also
trying to explain to her why this was not so. 'Look Mrs Jones, we have
to let them come to this school because St Mary's is out of the area.
So I am afraid you will just have to put up with it'. Mrs Jones was
storming round the office uttering threats. 'If I have to come to this
bloody school again through my son being hurt, then the school board
will hear of it. And if they don't do any bloody thing, I will send my
husband to thump the little hooligans.'
She had then flounced out of the office leaving the headmistress
standing. and looking after her.
The next we knew was the Doyle brothers and their Ma and Da'h were
called into see the headmistress. According to Mary the Headmistress
had threatened to have her brothers expelled if they got into trouble
just once more. On top of that her Da'h had threatened to give all
three of them some belt in the Headmistress's Office. This must have
scared them because for weeks after they had been like little angels.
And, needless to say the rehearsals had gone without any problems and
everyone was looking forward to getting the big night over with,
especially Miss Haslam and the Headmistress.
That morning I was so excited I could hardly wait to get to school. My
Ma thought I was ailing or something. She promised to come to the
Nativity play that night, even my Dah said he would try and get there.
During the morning a fierce snowstorm had blown up and soon it was
blowing a blizzard. Struggling through the knee high drifts I set off
to school. On the way I met some of the others. I think we only wanted
to go to school that morning because we could run through the deep
drifts and have snowball fights. It was quicker getting to school as
well because there was hardly any traffic. The Doyles were also being
well behaved, this was ideal for them to beat some poor kid up, but
they walked to school without any incidents. I walked in front with
Rosainne and we talked about the Nativity play. I kept feeling
snowballs breaking at the back of my head. I too took it all in fun and
threw plenty back..
In school we all gathered in our classrooms, there were no lessons that
day, we could play games or read books. Miss Haslam would not let us go
out in the snow, so outdoor games were not allowed. The feeling of
Christmas was really present in our classroom. We had decorated a tree
with home made things and strung streamers across the room. Every
little inch of wall space had been covered by blue paper. Stars of
various sizes covered this. Even my corner looked different. Paints
were out so we could do some colouring, I painted a huge Father
Christmas on a sheet of paper and then stuck it on the wall with all
the other pictures. Everyone was in a Christmas mood, even Miss Haslam
didn't seem to be as strict as she usually was.
That afternoon was to be our first proper dress rehearsal, some of the
school were allowed in to watch us. We had dressed in our costumes
behind the stage. I peeped out through the curtains and my heart missed
a beat. This place was going to be full of guests and parents tonight.
I started feeling scared at the thought of all those gawping faces
looking at me.
'Right, children gather round and lets have a quick talk'. Miss Haslam
had shouted to us.
'When you are on stage in front of the audience just pretend they are
not there, otherwise you will get stage fright'.
'Also, if your parents start waving to you, don't, under no
circumstances start waving back, otherwise everyone will be waving and
it will spoil the play'.
'Miss, Miss, Miss'. Patrick Doyle was waving his hand in the air.
Miss Haslam replied. 'If it is something silly Patrick you can shut
up'.
Patrick stood up and said. 'What if bob wants to do the toilet Miss,
what do we do then?'.
Bob was the name of the Doyles black Labrador and I still think that
Miss Haslam thought it a mistake to include him in the cast. Some of
the other kids had even offered to bring their pets but having mice and
guinea pigs running round was not a good idea, or so Miss Haslam
thought.
As it happened our dress rehearsal went off without too many problems.
The Headmistress said if it went like that tonight it would be good,
funny thing though she still looked worried.
As the snow was deepening the Headmistress thought it would be a good
idea if the kids stayed in school till the performance. She had bought
some sandwiches and some drinks for us. Also some of the parents who
lived close by bought some cakes and buns and other things. This was a
strange occasion to most kids because never had we ate together, except
in the school dining room. This was more like a party, we even had some
music. The girls of course wanted to dance, I was dragged unwillingly
onto the middle of the floor and made to dance.
'Michael Patrick, take that face off of you, smile we are having a
party'. Rosainne had seen my miserable face and shouted over to
me.
The Irish girls wanted to show us how good they were at Irish dancing.
The problem was we didn't have any Irish music. This didn't stop them
and soon they were humming a tune and kicking their legs high in the
air, the sounds of their heels and toes clicking on the floor soon had
the Doyles tapping their feet as well. Rosainne was really good she
could kick the highest and her back was held rigid, her arms not once
wavering from her sides. She was smiling at me whilst she danced, I
smiled back. Soon everyone was trying the Irish dance, even the
proddies. This was one of the best ever Christmases I had ever
had.
Time flew past and soon it was time for the play. As we all waited
backstage we could hear the hum of the audience and one of the teachers
playing some Christmas carols on the piano. Then
silence!&;#8230;&;#8230;the headmistress had presented the
play.
It all started ok, Mary and Joseph walked onto stage with a cardboard
donkey.
'Joseph dear, I am so tired after our long journey, can we not find an
inn'? Rosainne was word perfect.
Mary, we will have such a hard time getting a room at an inn, it is
census time here in Bethlehem'.
This went ok until they knocked on the inn door, a serious little
bearded face looked over the door. David Smith was a distant cousin of
mine and as such didn't really like me. He replied with.
&;#8230;&;#8230;. 'What do you want at this time of
night?'.
Again everything went ok, even to refusing us a room and smirking at
me. The scene changed after some frantic scurrying around behind the
curtains. Then it was the stable, Mary was reclining on an old sofa and
(I) Joseph was sitting on the ground. All around were cardboard animals
plus the very live Bob. Now this was the part where Mary gives birth. I
think Rosainne had been listening to the older girls. Without any
warning she started screaming and groaning, this wasn't in the script.
Roseanne had decided to add some drama to the play. After Miss Haslam
assured her that The Virgin Mary didn't have to yell and scream things
got under way again. The audience had taken it as part of the play and
just laughed. Rosainne reclined holding a doll, this was the Baby
Jesus. Next to enter was the Doyle Brothers they came with their gifts
for Mary. They then stood back. I was thinking something had to go
wrong. Next on stage, the Wisemen, they stepped forward and said their
piece and handed over their gifts. By now all the angels and choir had
slowly come on stage. I don't know at this stage if Rosainne was
feeling nervous because she was twisting the dolls head and it suddenly
came off in her hand. Taken by surprise she suddenly flung the head
away. Bob the Labrador thought this was a signal to play and dived off
the stage after the doll's head. He landed in the middle of a group of
parents, yet he still chased after the rolling head. By now a scuffle
had broke out between the Doyle's and some other kids. Patrick had tore
the wings from an angel and hit him with it. Rosainne was crying
uncontrollably, Miss Haslam was trying to bring some calm to the kids.
The headmistress was trying to calm the parents and Bob was still
tearing the doll's head to shreds. All in all the play was a complete
failure. Parents were urged to pick up their kids as soon as possible
and take them home. I had even tried to calm Rosainne down but she was
passed it she was getting hysterical until one of the girls gave her a
good slap.
That night back at home with my Ma and Da'h I felt really happy, even
thought the play had been a failure. The one thing we all got out of it
was the fun, even the parents thought it was funny and after all the
only thing to get hurt was the doll. I will always remember this
particular Christmas.