The church outing

The Church Outing 1952

This was a special day; well it was special to us kids. Once a year the
Catholic Church organised for us to go to Blackpool. This was the
one-day we didn't have to run and hide from the tall dark figure of
Father Nehery. It was a day that the mams and dads decided to dress up.
I noticed my da'h he was stuffing bottles of 'Forest brown Ale' into
his cavernous pockets. Me ma was busy catching up on the gossip with
the rest of the women.
Us kids were sat around a mountainous pile of shopping bags. We waited
impatiently for the charabanc, ok that's what my ma called it; to me it
was a bloody bus.

Life in England during the fifties was not easy, so when the chance to
go to the seaside came along it could not be missed. Also, living in an
Irish community was not too easy either. If you were not being
brainwashed by the church, you were getting brain bashed by the older
lads.
In my small gang there was Michael Collins, he was proud of his name he
made out he was related to the famous Michael Collins. I suppose if you
looked deep enough into any of these families, there was bound to be a
link with some Irish Rebel. Michael, although only eleven was quite a
hefty lad and as such ruled the roost. Other members of our gang
consisted of Johnny Corbett, Tony Flaherty and a few other younger
kids.

Then came the girls, dressed as if to kill they were. I looked over
towards Bridget, she was secretly my girl friend, but you never let it
be known. Girls were never talked about except behind the bike sheds
and then only in hushed tones. Even at eleven years old Bridget was
developing fast although most of it was still secret to me. Bridget's
sister was also coming along with us, she was older and also much more
developed. I had heard from some kids who had played with her tits, all
it cost them was a couple of woodbines. I felt deep in my pocket for
the woodbines I had nicked from my Da's packet. Some of the girls were
showing off by wearing their Ma's high heels.
At the moment they were flaunting themselves in front of the older
lads, who as usual didn't take a blind bit of notice. These were all
members of the Irish Brotherhood and didn't make any secret about their
links with the Irish Republican Army. We kept hearing about the
worsening conditions across the water and how that the once allied
troops had now become our enemy. For the time being it was too much for
me to understand, so I let it go by me.
Before long the bus arrived and there was a sudden mad dash for the
back seats, after a few minor punch ups we all managed to get settled.
I as usual had finished up sitting next to a girl; I smiled to
myself&;#8230;&;#8230;&;#8230;. It was Bridget's sister,
Sheilagh.
We now waited for our Da's, this wasn't unusual, they had gone round to
the 'Angel Hotel' to get some crates of beer. By the time they returned
they were all the worse for the drink.

Soon we were on our way, the sounds of the old engine, trying to
overcome the sounds of the various arguments. It wasn't long before
Father Nahery came down the bus and gave us all bottles of lemonade and
dandelion and burdock and a huge box full of crisps. Naturally certain
of the lads thought they had the divine right to hold onto them, again
fights broke out. It wasn't too long before Michael was sporting a
bleeding nose. The driver threatened to pull over and turf us all off.
Our Da's had other ideas and after having a good stiff talking to he
decided he was better getting us all there and hoping to the holy
mother he didn't have to do the return journey. Things quietened down
after a while, most of the kids read their comics.
Half way there and everyone was behavin' even our Da's were managing to
hold their drink.

I looked over at Sheilagh she smiled; she was quite a pretty girl. Most
of them were dressed similar and she was no exception. The style of the
day was an off the shoulder Latin style blouse and a hoolah skirt. I
purposely leaned over her to get a look out the window I whispered into
her ear.
'Hey Sheilagh, I have some woodbines if you want one',
I grinned at her and she whispered back.
'Sure, and just what would ye be havin' me doin' to get this
woodbine?'.
I whispered back to her.
She looked shocked, and gave me such a crack across my face. It really
stung and I was sure the Father himself had heard it. As I pulled away
she smiled and held out her hand.
'Well, Patrick Lynch, do you want to see my tits or don't you, give me
the woodbine?'.
I placed the woodbine in her hand and she put it with some others in
her purse.
For quite a bit of the journey She let me touch her.
Soon the men broke out into song, they started out with 'Kevin Barrie'
then moved onto some well known Irish ballads finally a few rousing
verses of the 'Soldiers Song'. This final song bought a few tears to
some eyes. I hadn't realised I was still playing with Sheilagh, until
she suddenly slapped my hand away.
'Hey Michael Patrick Lynch if you want more give me more
woodbines'
I had figured on keeping some for later and the journey back. Fully
satisfied at having held the finest pair of tits in me hands, I settled
back and read my comic.
The bus pulled into a transport caf?, everyone else dashed off the bus,
especially our Da's, they had a load of ale to unload.
'Well&;#8230;&;#8230;&;#8230;.' It was Sheilagh.
'Do you have any more woodies Patrick?.
I told her I had plenty and could also get more. She smiled and said we
would meet up later in Blackpool.
Soon we were back on the road and things had quietened down.

It was one of the older lads who saw The Tower first, and then there
was a mad move to one side of the bus. This threw the driver and made
the bus swerve.
Pretty soon we were pulling into the bus station at Blackpool. At this
point we couldn't smell the sea, only the greasy smell of fish and
chips. This would probably be the high spot of the day, real seaside
fish and chips. After the usual scuffles and minor punch-ups we walked
to the sea front. The girls had suddenly decided to start acting older
than they really were, this was for the older lads who were hanging
around the slot machine arcade. We could all say goodbye to our
girlfriends whilst these local lads were around.

The busload split into four groups, the women all went to the shops,
the da's all went into the nearest pub, the girls were flirting with
the local lads. That left us to find our own way round the sea front. I
felt really rich, my aunts and uncles had given me some money to spend
I had two pounds. Which, to an eleven-year-old is quite a lot,
Especially as a packet of Woodbines only cost 1 shilling and sixpence.
And, Sheilagh had promised me.
As we walked along the front I wondered what else she was going to do
for a full packet, what else could she do?

It wasn't long before we ran into trouble, a gang of Glaswegians, these
were also having their yearly day out from the Gorbals. Every year
these kids had managed to beat us. They were mostly proddies so
Catholics were good targets for them.
After the usual name calling we had a full-scale bust-up in front of
Yates's Wine Lodge. I felt blood running from my nose after a kid hit
me. I looked around and most of us had been downed and had blood coming
from us.
It was the police whistle and the sound of the police cars that made us
realise we all had one common enemy, so we managed to get to our feet
and make a quick escape. We all split up and ran down the sidestreets
and alleys. When the police got there it was all-quiet and no one knew
what had happened.

We decided to go to the beach and play footy and try and keep out of
trouble, some of the Glaswegians came with us so it was natural for the
proddie's to play the Catholics. This could finish up like a Celtic
versus Rangers game. The game progressed and I was quite surprised, the
proddie's were playing fair. They managed to actually beat us. Michael
Collins wanted to flatten the captain's face but we talked him out of
it. We all shook hands and let it go at that. They went their way and
we went ours.
We were to meet our ma's and da's for dinner so we made our way back to
the meeting spot. Just as we got there a pub window crashed into the
street followed by a body. Michael Collins da stood up and shouted
something to the crumpled body, it got up and ran. Within the next
minute a real fight broke out it made our earlier one look tame.

I could hear the sound of breaking glass and yells from the women.
Suddenly, a body came hurling through the door. It was Mr Collins; he
looked at us and then dived back in to the fray. I thought, if the
police came here none of us would be going home tonight. As suddenly as
it had started it ended and our da's all came piling out, drunk and a
little worse for wear. When the women came they started on them,
dragging them off to the chippy. We sat in silence eating our fish and
chips, occasionally looking at each other. We must have looked a
terrible sight. Then to make matters worse the Father came along, tut
tutted and warned us if there was any more trouble he would see to it
that we paid. This would mean doing some work in the church, and not
easy work either.

We all had to watch ourselves that day, even our ma's had threatened us
as well. I went off on my own and looked round the little gift shops
dotted along the front. I bumped into Sheilagh in one shop; she was
buying some lipstick.
'Michael Patrick, just what have you been doing with your self, look
at you black eyes and a cut nose'.
She made as if she was fussing about me.
'Now Sheilagh Gavvaan, just what do you think you are doing wit my
fellow?'
Bridget had crept upon her sister. She told Bridget about showing me
her tits, and then they broke into giggles.
'Well, Michael me boyo just what are you going to do to see
mine'?
I looked at Bridget and blushed, Jesus I wished the earth would open me
up right now.

I saw them both whispering and then giggling again. They took hold of
me and dragged me off to the tower. We paid the entrance fee and went
in. there was a lot to do in this place, there was a zoo, an aquarium
and even a circus. We all headed for the dance hall; we could get a
drink of lemonade and listen to the music. I sat down and watched
Sheilagh and Bridget jiving. They were very good at it; their skirts
were swirling showing their legs off. I looked away cos I knew they
were doing it to tease me. I couldn't dance to save me life, which
might be the reason that Bridget took hold of me and dragged me onto
the dance floor. She tried to show me the moves and before long I had
mastered the basics, a little later I got adventurous and started
adding fancy bits. Sheilagh came over and joined in with us, this was
where I came unstuck. I was ok with one partner but two. I didn't know
what to do with my hands. I finished up tripping over someone and
landed on my arse. Sheilagh and Bridget were laughing, not mockingly
though. They helped me to my feet. Bridget whispered to me.
'Well Michael Patrick, have you got any woodies then?'
I looked at her and gawped, never had she mentioned this before. It
looked like the summer of 1952 was going to be an eye opener for me. We
went and sat down with Sheilagh, she looked at Bridget and said
'Well'
Bridget smiled and winked at her. I went off to try and get a packet of
Woodbines; the woman at the kiosk wouldn't serve me though.
'You're too bloody young, now away with you'.
Shit, I thought I had to get the woodies, I decided to ask someone to
get them for me telling them I had come for my da'h and the auld biddy
at the kiosk wouldn't serve me. It worked; a kind old drunk got me
them.
I dashed back to Bridget and Sheilagh. Bridget said 'Well?
I showed them both the full pack, they laughed. Sheilagh tut tutted and
said
'Michael Lynch, you will never be out of that confessional next week, I
hope you dare face up to himself, cos I couldn't'. 'Oh well come on
then and lets see what the Gavaan sisters have that's worth a full
packet of woodies'. They grabbed hold of my hands and pulled me to my
feet, I started feeling scared, it was ok on the bus catching a crafty
feel. Here I was being offered it by two sisters now, offered what, I
had no idea.

We walked out of the Tower building and went down to the beach. As it
was getting late afternoon there were hardly any people there. We found
a quiet spot near the lifeboat hangar. Out of the way they both grabbed
hold of me and pulled me out of sight.
'Ok then Michael Lynch, lets see the woodies'. Bridget said smiling at
me.
I handed them over to her and she gave half to Sheilagh.
'Now then Michael me boyo just what are ye's expecting for these'. She
looked over to me laughing. I was feeling awkward and didn't know what
to say, I just looked sheepishly at them. Sheilagh made the first move
and started to raise her blouse slowly. Bridget looked on and did the
same.
'There y' are Michael Lynch that's what you wanted to see'. She said
revealing her small rounded tits.
I reached out to touch and she smacked me across the mouth.
'Y' ell not be touching these Michael Lynch till we are married.
Sheilagh laughed at us. She winked and said.
'Here y' are Michael ye can touch mine'.
I looked at Sheilagh and was about to touch her, when Bridget yelled at
me.
'Michael Lynch, just what do you think you are doing with my sisters
tits, lay one finger on her and we are done'.
They were still revealing themselves and laughing at me.
I was in a predicament here, Sheilagh would let me do more than touch
but it would mean losing Bridget and I didn't want to do that. So I
backed off and let them cover up. I was just about to walk away when
Sheilagh grabbed hold of me.
'Now Michael me boyo there is something we want to see'.
I stood wondering what these sisters wanted.
Bridget spoke up.
'Now Michael, your turn, you show us your thing, we both want to see
it'.
I did as they wanted and opened my flies. They both leaned closer to
see.
'Hmm not very big is it'. Remarked Bridget.
'It has to get excited then it grows, see it is growing'. Sheilagh was
looking closer.
I just hoped they were not going to touch me, sure the Father himself
said it was a sin.
'Hey Sheilagh, it is growing, so if we were to touch it, it would grow
even more'.
'Right' said Sheilagh.
At this point I fastened my flies and stepped back.
'Bridget Gavaan, you don't get to handle that till we are
married'.
Sheilagh stepped forward. 'What about me Michael, do I get to feel
it'.
'No ye bloody well don't, that's mine'. Snapped Bridget.
Having got all the peeking out of the way we splashed about in the sea
for a while then made our way back to the Tower.

In the Tower we met up with everyone else and had a glass of lemonade
and a bag of crisps. Soon it was time to make our way back to the bus
and to try and get our da'hs out of the pub. We carried on to the bus
whilst the women went for the men. The driver wouldn't let us on till
the Father returned. We heard the noise of our dah's returning all
singing 'The Soldiers Song' and non-too steady on their feet. Even the
Father looked like he had been drinking, but no one made any
comment.

The journey back was a little quieter mainly because the men had fallen
asleep. I was still in the same seat with Sheilagh, but Bridget had
decided to join us as well.
'Sure an I don't trust our Sheilagh with you, so here I am'.
And there I was sat between two of the sweetest Irish colleens you
would hope to lay eyes on. Nothing else was mentioned of our
discoveries, but I did feel accidental touches from the pair of em
during our drive back home.
That summer trip I had found out several things, one of them was you
cant beat two Irish girls when they get their heads together another
was that I keep my money in my pockets next time.
But that was all part of growing up and through the next few years I
did a lot of that. The next week's confession was a tough one for the
sisters and me. The Father made me work very hard.