Any room for a small one?

As I hymned and hawed over whether to take my brood with me to the second anniversary of my poor uncle paddy. I looked at my husband, Steve, and raised an eyebrow. He shrugged his shoulders and my eyes widened and he nodded. That’s the type of communication you get after having your day full of work on his part, and five kids on mine.

Adam (8), Tadhg (6), Henry (4), Jack (2), and Ben (11 months), were always looking for adventure and days out. When my mother, who was hosting the gathering in my grandmothers house in Waterford, asked if we’d talked about going or not, I looked at her and wondered if it would take my mind off of the miscarriage. I was twelve weeks pregnant when I lost a girl, just what we were hoping for in a sea of boys six months ago.

Some ask if we are very religious when they see five of them hanging out of us, but it was just pure luck and carelessness that got us our family, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Yes, it was hectic, but I couldn’t imagine life without them. Little Emily, the baby we lost, was going to add to the adventure and even though its still so fresh the one question people ask is, ‘are you going again?’…insensitive gits. That was the one question I was gunning to avoid if we did decide to trek three hours to my grandmothers house.

‘I don’t see anyone wanting to put up with these five!’ I said to my mother gesticulating to the boys at the table thumb wrestling as I made them sandwiches.

‘But you know everyone loves it when they come down and that everyone is dying to see ye all!’ my mother saw me wince at the word dying and apologised. ‘It’ll be a distraction if nothing else!’ she came back at me with. ‘You’re going to have to move on someday!’

‘Right so,’ I handed out the sandwiches and asked, ‘does anyone want to go to a party at nanny’s?’

‘Yay!’ they all said in unison.

I smiled as the aunts and uncles didn’t know what they were in for!

 

The drive down was nice and handy. Ben threw up on himself twice so we had to stop to change him. Our eldest, Adam, delighted that one of the places we stopped was in Paulstown so he could go to burger king as promised. Other than some games of eye spy and a movie, the journey was uneventful…for our family anyway.

We pulled up to the house as near as we could fit the van and Steve proceeded to take out the double buggy. Ben was fast asleep and we wanted to keep him like that for the time being because four noisy kids is better than five. We were well equipped with video games and dinosaurs. Steve even brought his laptop and a HDMI cable to plonk them in front of the tv if we were really desperate. We weren’t the type to use screens to quieten the kids but in a foreign house full of strangers we had to be prepared for everything.

The kids ran into the last driveway on the left and rang the bell until someone answered. They pushed their way past my uncle who answered the door as they saw nana in the kitchen with her pinny on and ran to say hi to her. Myself and Steve, laden down with bags came with the other two in the buggy.

‘I’ll open the gate!’ my uncle smiled before giving me a hug, ‘it’s so nice for ye to make it down!’ he said and greeted Steve as well. He looked down at Jack and Ben and was beaming with admiration as to how we did it all.

Once the gate was open, and quickly closed to keep in the monkeys, we could just roll the buggy in as it was too wide for the hall door. We turned the corner from the yard into the garden where everyone got out of their seats to greet us. The bigger three entered the garden at the same time we did all with juice boxes in their hands.

‘Mammy!’ I scolded lightly with a smile.

‘They said they were thirsty!’ she retorted with a shrug of the shoulder.

‘That’s what water is for!’ I giggled and patted the heads of the boys who were all of a sudden shy.

Everyone was so welcoming and there were even party games there especially made for them. Steve instructed me to enjoy my family, that he had the kids and I kissed him for it.

I sat down on a kitchen chair at a fold up table beside my granny and chatted away to relatives I hadn’t seen since Bens christening nine months ago. It was so nice catching up. The boys seemed content playing with my younger cousins who were all starting to have babies of their own. We asked David to see if he could handle the eldest four, Ben still sleeping, as his daughter Mia just turned eight weeks. In all fairness he gave it a good shot but after twenty minutes they had him bet. He stood up, one still hanging out of his neck and shook his head wondering how we did it.

David, who lived with us for a year when I was going out with Steve, made his way over to me, Steve grabbing Tadhg as he went. He was like a brother during that year and we had that special bond ever since. He gave me a massive hug. I teared up. We both knew what the hug meant but were both able to communicate it without words. He took my face in his hands and wiped my tears with his thumbs and nodded at me. I closed my eyes and nodded back.

Then, as if like clockwork, Ben and Mia woke at the same time. Mia’s needs were more urgent as she was screaming for a new nappy, whereas Ben was just looking for devilment. Its true what they say that with your first everything has to be done perfectly but by the time you’re at your third, everything seems less important. That analogy applies to the fifth as well. Hell, Ben manoeuvred out of his high chair last week and almost fell off the table. It was Tadhg who caught him…. just another day the office!!!

Just as I picked Ben up from his buggy, Jack came over wanting some attention. He had something in his hand and was sporadically putting it in his mouth. It turned out to be a stone which I quickly fished out and tried to make him understand that these aren’t sweeties. The whole back garden was littered with them, not a blade of grass in sight. Nanny looked at him and asked if he was mine. I introduced him to his great grandmother and she giggled as he said hi!

She pulled me aside and asked me whose kids were running around.

‘There my kids nanny!’ I told her with pride.

‘Well they better not ruin the ornaments as Dee,’ my mother, ‘spent all day yesterday painting them.’

All I could do was smile. My aunt Sinead, who was sitting on the opposite side of me asked Ben over and over if he’d go to her. In the end I just plonked him on her lap and made my way over to Steve.

‘Are you sure it’s the right time?’ I asked him.

He rescued a blue hedgehog with a red nose and asked me, ‘are you ready? It has been twelve weeks! And the doctor said it would be a good idea!’ he held the hedgehog high as Jack began to scream…. ah the terrible twos! I kissed him and wished him luck with the hedgehog. I excused myself and went to the bathroom. When I arrived back, I was assigned to a seat at the edge of the gazebo as it was one that would be convenient for watching the boys.

My mother began to hand hot dishes out the patio door and a recipient collected it and placed it on the fold up tables under the gazebo. There weren’t enough chairs for everyone as people had come far and wide in the memory of my uncle paddy.

Before we ate, my mother dedicated the dinner to him and invited people to dig in. Just as spoons entered layers of pasta, Steve cleared his throat loudly and stood up with Henry in his arms.

‘I would like you all to raise a glass not only for poor paddy who we tragically lost on this day two years ago, but to also drink to the new life that should be gracing us around Christmas time!’ with that he sat.

Puzzled faces looked at each other and landed on me. ‘What my beloved is trying to say is……were pregnant again!!’

Everyone gasped, including my mother. Not even she had any idea about the baby. She rubbed her hands on her pinny and approached me and Steve.

‘Really?’ she asked, her mouth open not sure if it was good news or bad.

‘Really!’ I confirmed, ‘we had our twelve weeks scan the other day and everything looks perfect!’ I began to tear up, which made my mom tear up and then others started to as well.

My mother hugged us both and searched for a glass of wine. When she finally got it, from Adam no less as he knew what type of wine nana preferred, she raised her glass and I recited a poem I had written for the occasion:

 

To all who’s been,

And all who’s past,

To all who will be,

Be truly blessed!

 

 

Everyone clapped and there wasn’t a dry eye in the crowd. My uncle piped up, ‘good luck to sleep!’

‘Shane,’ I replied, ‘sleep has evaded us for nearly nine years, trust me, it’s over rated!’

‘Well we all know what ye do in bed!’ he retorted to a laugh.

It was a laugh that carried through the whole evening and well into the night. Come seven o’clock we had three very tired boys on our hands and two who were hyped up on nana’s juice boxes. But I didn’t mind as they were having fun mingling with their family.

The drive back to Dublin was a sleepy one. Steve and I hand in hand as the cruise control kicked in.