Just One Night

Why do I feel so nervous? After all its only one night and it’s not as if I’m going to be alone. She has every right to go. After all, its not every day your mother turns 93, or is it 94? That woman has so many birth certs it unconscionable.

Peter will be here so we can look after each other. He is an amazing cook and I asked him yesterday what delights he had planned for dinner when she was gone. He still can’t stand at the cooker very long so he told me I’d have to do my own cooking. Bloody covid. Its hard to believe he has it nine weeks now. Its so unfair! First the pedal cyclist and his hip, now covid…. will he ever catch a break?

I informed them that I might make cookies. When I saw the look that Peter and mom exchanged as they locked eyes, my heart skipped a beat. Peter just blurted out ‘no blow torch!’ Are afraid I’ll burn the place down? Shas only going for one night…. what’s the worst that could happen. When they heard about the blow torch I nearly choked on my water. Why they gave it to me in the first place is baffling. I mean, don’t they know me? Me, who gave myself food poisoning twice when left alone for five days. I actually have to laugh though, because the GP was convinced, I was pregnant. Yea right, the immaculate conception!

I’m sad I’m not going to be there for nanny tomorrow, but then again, she won’t know who was there or why. Maybe its for the best, what with waiting for a bed in psychiatric hospital and all.

I can’t believe I’ve been waiting five weeks now. I put my heart palpitations to stress as I’m literally living out of a suitcase in my own home. When I eventually do get the call, I’ll have to move fast. So there it is, taking up most of my floor with clothes and activities bursting through the seams. I don’t travel light! Its going to take three suitcases and two Ikea bags to get me in there. The nurse who will have to do the inventory will be impressed! Ha!

I don’t understand that I can go into hospital for weeks on end and not feel this pang of emptiness I feel now knowing she’s going. I have to keep thinking that its only one night, just one night.

picture from pixabay