SEASIDE DREAM


By moonphish
Tue, 13 May 2014
- 518 reads
1 comments
i dreamt i was at seaside
as the sun was sinking low
spinning soft on the horizon
like it had nowhere to go
.
i slipped into the water
heading off to see that sun
i lost all sense of gravity
impossible to run
.
i knew my life was over
but i felt no sense of dread
it was if a turquoise blanket
had been wrapped around my head
.
a trail of bubbles, northward
as my body traveled south
perhaps they would recover
a small starfish in my mouth
.
my hair curled up like question marks
as if to wonder why
for could there ever be
a way more beautiful to die ?
.
i heard a playful trickle
like a lovely mermaid's song
but it turned into a roaring
that sang out that all was wrong
.
then my body shifted quickly
and i rose up from the deep
i'd been snoozing in the bathtub
what a crazy place to sleep
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Comments
excellent
Refreshingly naive. Very nice poem. "i'd been snoozing in the bathtub what a crazy place to sleep" doesn't sound like such a good idea either!
I think it's much harder to write simple, pure, clear, clean verse, than purposefully intellectual sounding highly dramatic poems using obscure words and phrases and deliberately confusing everybody and yourself most of all.
Best wishes! Tom Brown
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