The Ramblings of a Disillusioned Middle Aged Man

‘Have you got some of those, what are they called? Bugger me my brain doesn’t work as fast as it used to. Hold on, you know bigger than an apple, smaller than a melon, begins with M as well. Mango, that’s it there we go Mango. My wife and I were talking about them over breakfast, not that there’s much left to talk about after thirty years you understand. And now she wants to use them tonight, to put in a salsa apparently. Mango salsa, have you heard anything like it? Another bloody dinner party, her friends not mine. I say friends, but it’s her boss, so I have been told to be on my best behaviour. There’s not a lot of pleasure in it you know. It’s not her fault. We’re all the same. None of us have got any power, not really. We are all ants crawling around doing the work for those in charge. I’ll take some of that asparagus as well, thanks very much. Works wonders asparagus, a man has got to have something looking forward too even if it is twice a month these days. You have got to keep working on it though. You don’t want to end up swimming round and round that pond seeing someone you fancy, saying to each other you’re the best thing that happened to me until the years pass by and it all ends and starts again. Oh and throw in a few carrots in will you. Thank you, you’ve been very helpful as always. Keep the change, give it to charity or someone that needs it. See you again.’