Ten More Tiny Twitter Tales (follow for more @nevervane )

1 The fall didn't kill him. The octopus did.

2 We called him glass boy. His head was a see-through bowl. When he laughed, his brains fluttered like a frying egg.

3 The table was littered with the shells of Christ eggs. Tiny bearded men spread out across the table, trailing their sandals in the butter.

4 We kept the rest of Uncle Josef in a rusted lantern. Each Christmas, Papa took him down from the mantelpiece and shook him like a snowglobe.

5 John emptied his account, took the notes home in his briefcase and fed them through the shredder. Mr Snuggles was a very demanding hamster.

6 I tell them that one day I will leave the facility, walk out to the edge of the world and fly off. You're ill, they say. Have another drink.

7 Eric's last carrotcake, delivered from the bottom of the freezer. Sue chews slowly in her nightgown. Every bite is another goodbye.

8 Terry's new hip was giving him hell. 'Nice shoes,' it snickered, 'your mum buy them for you?' He stubbed it hard against a wall, twice.

9 For 25 years, I've been living next door to Alice. She's been dead for 12.

10 Harriet's Russian was a little rusty but she swore the seagulls were telling her to push another pram into the sea. Not again, not so soon.