The Secret Cosmonaut

(What you are about to read is completely true. As is this statement. You can trust me.)

Ekaterina Koshkov was a cosmonaut but, until now, you've never heard of her. The Soviet government has hidden this information for over 50 years, and only now will Ekaterina's story be heard.

Yuri Gagarin was the first human to be sent into space. Ekaterina Koshkov was the first human to return, 4 years prior to Gagarin's mission. Ekaterina was one of three sent into orbit, one did not make it back alive, and the other you've probably heard of - her name was Laika.

Konstantin Eduardovich Tsiolkovskii, the head of the Soviet Space Program, was a big fan of the early works of Fyodor Dostoyevsky, in particular his novel Homeward Bound, (which was later adapted into a film by Walt Disney, winning 8 oscars) and sent three satellites into orbit in 1957: two containing dogs (Lucky and Laika) and one containing a cat (Ekaterina).

In a million to one technical failure, Lucky's pod exploded on the launch pod killing him instantly. Laika and Ekaterina made it safely into orbit. Sadly, Tsiolkovskii was far keener on classic literature than on kindness to animals, and little provision was made to ensure the animals' survival; Laika's oxygen ran out on day 6.

Both pods re-entered the atmosphere on day 9. Laika's body was recovered and subject to many experiments, paving way for Gagarin's mission 4 years later. Ekaterina's pod was never found by the Soviet government, until this day it is believed that it burnt up on re-entry. This is not the case.

Ekaterina's pod was found by fishermen in Nova Scotia, Canada. But, what they found huddled in the burnt up shell of the satellite was not the charred corpse of a cat, but a female human, alive and well. The fisherman took in Ekaterina and fed her and gave her a place to sleep. She was very keen on fish, of which the fishermen had plenty, and her daily tongue-baths were very popular performances on many a cold evening.

One day, Ekaterina just left. The fishermen left a bowl out for her for the next few days, but she never returned. They figured that she'd moved in with a lonely old lady a couple of streets away, preferring that possibility to the thought that she'd been mangled under the wheels of a speeding car. It never occurred to them that they lived a hundred miles from the nearest old lady, and a car was not going to do any speeding in snow 4 feet thick.