You See...

It wasn’t always like this. Children used to play in the streets, people used to talk to each other. Now, god damn, what do we have now? One radio channel, maybe some news on the TV if we’re lucky; everything went to hell. I’m not here to tell you what happened or why it happened. That’s so far in the past, I forget who’s who. Ah, this world changed a long time ago. But I never changed. I never went blind like the rest of them. No, I see just about everything. I watched a woman shoot herself just yesterday. Nobody seemed to pay it mind, either. They just kept on walking. But, it was cleaned up this morning, so I assume that some poor soul managed to drag her off to the nearest crematorium. Don’t get me started on cremation. That word doesn’t mean what it used to mean.

Where should I start? Well, you’re of age, so I think I might just be able to recall what happened during the failed revolution. There was something wrong with that revolution. They won so many battles, but in the end, the government crushed any opposition. People killed people like it was nothing.

I wish I never fought in that damned thing. I never saw any use in strife. Everyone in their right minds knew that the government wasn’t to be trifled with. But they did so much to us; I’m surprised we weren’t all crazy. The revolution was a small outburst following the event of a massive starvation. I think the town was called Titan’s Harbor? No, that doesn’t sound right. Maybe it was Tyson Valley. Yeah, that was the one. Titan’s Harbor just sort of sunk into the sea one day. No, it was Tyson Valley that starved to death. Before all this, you’d never hear of a whole town just starving out. But that’s exactly what happened. One day, the food just stopped; government said they weren’t pulling their haul. Well, this made the townsfolk want to work even more, so they worked themselves, and they worked hard, but the food never came. I think it was a message. They worked them like dogs just to show that you don’t cross them. Why the hell they thought that a strong message like that was a good reason to start a war I’ll never know.

But, I guess I got a little side tracked. In the revolution, I lived in a town about sixty miles away from here. It was called Haysburg. Now, Haysburg was just about what you’d expect from the name. It was a small town, and our specialty was horse breeding. I know, you’re thinking I got to ride a horse, and I worked on the farm for my whole life. No. I worked mostly with my mother, cleaning things. My father let me help occasionally, and when I turned eighteen, he said he’d start teaching me how to take up after him. The first thing they did when the revolution broke out, they came to our farm armed to the teeth and then some, and made my father go out there and shoot every last horse we had. It was either that, or they’d shoot us, then the horses, and bury us in the same hole. With that sort of ultimatum, who could turn down such a generous offer?

Well, apparently, the government liked the strong young boy from the farm, and I got drafted, well, the term they use is “selected”, but it was called “draft” when I was younger. They put me through training, slapped me on a train, and sent me to the front. I don’t like remembering those days.

First person I shot when I got off that train was a young boy, looking for his mother. He rushed the line, and I was told to fire. I hesitated of course, but as soon as he was within fifty feet of me, a pistol was within two inches. I don’t think they actually saw him as a threat. I think they were just picking on the new guy. I can still see his eyes. They were green like emeralds. I watched the blood trickle out of a penny-sized hole, right in his forehead. Then, they just started kicking him, over, and over again. It wasn’t a boy when they were done with him.

Then I killed some insurgents, who were shooting at me. I don’t feel near as bad for them. I don’t feel anything for them. I was in a regiment that raided a few towns, razed a few more, and once, we captured a city called Progress. Its actual name was Cliffside, but the rebels renamed it to “Progress”. It was a stupid name, I know, but apparently it stood for something.

Well, Progress wasn’t much of a city when we got there. Our job was to clean up the mess that the insurgents made, or rather were. My regiment was tasked with capturing or killing every last insurgent in there. Three guys and I went into this one building, the top was all blown to shit, but the first three floors were stable still, and it was a good area to hide if you were looking to not be found. First room we entered, the guy on my right got shot in the head, just like that. I shot two men, and broke the neck of a third who tried to stab me. We swept the building and gunned down, oh, it must have been ten or twenty. We got to this one room, and this guy’s begging for his mother. He was sobbing on the floor, a little ways away from me. My only remaining partner aimed his gun at him, but got shot soon after by another insurgent. Apparently, mama’s boy was bait. I didn’t want to kill those men, but they wanted to kill me, so I had to fight for my life. I shot one in the chest, then the one on the ground pulled out a gun, and I had to shoot him three or four times before he went down. His wounds kept oozing, long after he stopped moving, and blood pooled around him in an unsettling fashion.

I pushed into the last room, and there was a woman, perhaps twenty-eight, propped against the wall with a pistol in her hand.

“Drop the weapon!” I screamed, but to no avail.

“Please… Please… Please…” She kept muttering “Please…” like I was going to do something terrible to her.

“Drop the weapon!” I screamed again, this time more forcefully. Now she was just crying, covered in blood and tears, her hair coagulating like the blood on her dress. I steadied my pistol and warned her one last time. No, I didn’t shoot the woman. She did that for me. I watched that bullet go straight through her skull and hit the wall across from her. Blood leaked out of her head like you wouldn’t believe. I didn’t notice her stomach until I was about to leave. I shook my head and left.

A short while after that incident, the war was over. That’s about the time that Titan’s Harbor fell into the sea. It’s a damn shame that city just up and disappeared. It was a nice vacation spot for the veterans.

And I don’t want you to take it like I wear that title like a badge of honor. I hated every day I fought in that war, and every day I lived the soldier’s life is a day less that I deserve to live. I’ve killed more people than I want to count, and I can remember more atrocities than the government claims there were. Nothing is like war. I hope you never live to see another one.