“Friends and Family”

Jason looked not quite worried
about serious family affairs –
the look of one not accustomed to
certain fatigues of the mind
and the heart.

My blood sugars then spoils with
the memories of countless threats
of suicide from my father, and others.

My father’s last friend, from
a certain group of friends
died the other day.

Are we sad? I am not.

I look for it briefly, but I will not
look for a reason for its absence.
I’ve been sad before, and know
well enough. It comes quickly when it

chooses. Be happy my sweet. Do
not worry, if no worry comes.
There are darker evenings almost
certainly ahead, when the chambers

of your heart will be sharp edged,
and the pain will be so great, that
the universe will seem to be turning
to you alone with its black mouth
open, and the cold
rushing out

and luck and coincidence and reasons
will mean nothing

to your veins
cracked open with sudden ice.