Wooden Heart

By mw

Sun, 06 Jan 2013

1319 reads

5 comments

Frigid, cold walls, surround the wooden heart,
Splintered and bare, having lost it's protective bark,
Lonely & Starving it searches for nourishment,
Unable to break through the armour of it's own making.

Comments

Nice, says a lot in a few

Permalink Submitted by ScoZen on Sun, 2013-01-06 10:18

Nice, says a lot in a few words. "...Frigid, cold walls..." A thaw on its way I hope

ScoZen

Thanks for the comments

Permalink Submitted by mw on Sun, 2013-01-06 13:31

Thanks for the comments everyone.

This has a sad and bleak

Permalink Submitted by Bee on Sun, 2013-01-06 12:15

This has a sad and bleak feel to it. Enjoyed. Bee

Bee

I like it too mw. Definitely

Permalink Submitted by scratch on Sun, 2013-01-06 12:42

I like it too mw. Definitely a desolate feel which I guess that you were attempting to achieve. One observation if I may? Is the capitalisation of 'Lonely and Starving' a typo' or is it an attempt at personification? If it is the latter can I suggest removing the 'it' afterwards, this would increase the impact and make more sense. Good effort nonetheless. Welcome to the site by the way.

Thanks scratch, I appreciate

Permalink Submitted by mw on Sun, 2013-01-06 13:33

Thanks scratch, I appreciate any constructive advice! This is all new to me as I am just starting out. Thanks :)