Mad woman's diary part:1

Mike was his name he left with no trace.
I'd searched for weeks, yet no sign revealed where he was.
I suppose I missed him, but the disappearance, changed my heart.
If he'd loved me he would have stood by me, friends keep telling me to move on.
But I can't, for some odd reason, I just can't- I'd like to- but I can't,
A little voice keeps reminding me that one day Mike will return,
Then I question myself...When?

Many years had passed, still no contact. Why?
It just didn't make sense; apparently, he had been having money problems
But we'd been together for ages so he would have discussed them with me.
I feel like i am going insane here, nothing makes sense anymore.
I feel so alone some days, I believe it's my fault.
I can't tell the police, they'll think it was me who did it...

Well the truth is...is i did do it, well I at least took part.
i didn't mean to though, we were having problems,
the doctors told me not to blame myself, but worst of all to stop making up stories about money difficulties, or that Mike had runaway. They said this because they knew it was a lie.
So what, why tell the truth? Friends believe the lies! So why don't the police?
This one policeman called Simon- I think he has... well...had a thing for me- he always says I'm beautiful, in fact he used to say it even when Mike was around.
Anyway, as you can see I was lying in the beginning, I told you that I thought Mike left because apparently he had money problems, well it wasn't true. I made him leave, the insanity has twisted me, I don't know what i am saying anymore. Well I still have the horrific memory of what i did to mike, Oh dear God, I feel so guilty...I killed him, I plunged the knife into him, I've searched for so many years now for his spirit, I want to, well, I need to apologise. I mean I took his life for Christ sakes. I'm sad though 'cause I've never found it, never. His ghost hasn't even haunted me for my sin, well not yet. I hope he doesn't because i did love him.
You're probably wondering why i killed Mike, well I was told that he'd stolen millions out of people's savings, somehow he'd managed to get away with it, he was "apparently" part of a group called the "getaways" get their name?
Well anyway, I wasn't too happy about these claims, so I tried to reason with him about it, but he wouldn't have it and he hit me, in fact, he continued doing so until, I got my revenge...you know the knife thingy. Well now i feel bad 'cause now i'm lonely and i need him back. Some nights I wonder why my doctor comes in to this room and checks if i'm still breathing, I turn to him and ask "Why y' do that for?" He says "In case you do it again..." I say "Do what again?" He doesn't say anything, I repeat it but this time yelling, and then it happens, and then he screeches "THAT!!" by now i am totally confused I don't know what's wrong with me, I knifed this one too, and it isn't the first, i'm a forgetful mad murderer, who has just repeated her evil scheme, and this time taking his life.