C: 29/6/2004

What is the essence of being?
How old do you have to be to have it all?
Why is the sky as white as bloodlessness?


Sometimes I wonder who I am. I look in the mirror and there's
no one there. Someone beautiful with my face on. The end of existance
begins when you know yourself. Whatever. Talking a load of crap. My
contact lenses are going fuzzy, I can't see.


I had my last singing lesson with my current teacher. New
school, now, I'll be there. My eyes hurt. I'll have to rinse my lenses
out before I go to the concert tonight. Leavers' concert. I'm leaving.
I'm leaving life as I know it. A-levels and whatnot.


Unicorns end up being horses with arrows in their heads (see
Rosencrantz and Gildernstern Are Dead) What's with that? That isn't
truth, that's self-delusion.


And death isn't what you see on a stage. Death is intimate.
Death is quiet. Death is.


Can I lose my mind? Now my exams are over I am free to do
what I want. It's done. Over. The end of my stress. The art of death.



Maybe, if I try hard enough. I'm losing my voice by the
minute (metaphorically speaking) Monologue. Love you. Love you