Mr Carnovan's LIttle Shop of Dreams, Part 3c of 5

‘The giant stepped over to a large oak tree. He took a ring of keys from his pocket and looked through them. There must have been a hundred keys on that ring. From time to time, the giant would hold a key up and gaze at it and then at the hole in the tree. He even tried out several keys, but none of them worked. Finally he held up a key and said, “I think this may be the right one.” He inserted it into the keyhole in the tree and turned it. Snap came the sound of a bolt unlocking, and the outline of a door appeared in the side of the tree.

‘The giant pulled the door opened and disappeared inside, closing the door behind him. The sounds of someone thumping about came from within the tree, and the trunk shook as the giant stumbled about inside. To your grandmother’s amazement, the giant raised a window sash and an opening appeared in the tree. A grill covered most of it, and there was a little shelf at the front with a shallow trough in it so that money could be passed in and out. The giant placed a sign reading “Open” on the shelf. “Now, Madam,” he said. “Will you be wanting a ticket for a coach seat or for a deluxe seat in the lounge?”

‘ “What is the difference? The river isn’t that wide. It can’t take so long to cross that I need a special seat, do I?”

‘ “Please yourself, Madam. The coach seating is our basic plan. Lounge seating entitles you to our food and beverage service.”

‘ “Well, I have my own food. I won’t be needing the food and beverage service.”

‘ “No eating or drinking allowed on the ferry, Madam.”

‘ “But . . .” Your grandmother thought better of pursuing that line of conversation and pointing out that the giant had just told her that lounge seating had a food service. “Thank you, but I’ll just take a ticket for coach seating.”

‘ “One?”

‘ “Yes, just one.”

‘ “You’re travelling alone?”

‘ “Yes, there’s just me,” said your grandmother.

‘ “That will be 5 euros.”

‘That seemed a lot to your grandmother, but she was becoming desperate. So she searched through her pockets until she found a 10 euro note.

‘The giant took the money and turned away from the window. “Please wait a moment until the computer boots up.” From inside the tree came several beepings and buzzings and the sound of the giant tapping at the keys. While he was waiting, the giant picked up a rubber stamp and inked it and then loudly stamped several sheets of paper. He filled out several forms and then he stamped them. Then he typed for several minutes into his computer. “You’re in luck, madam. There is one coach seat still available on next ferry. You can upgrade to lounge seating if you like.”

‘Your grandmother shook her head no. The giant typed for several more minutes, and then the printer began churning out sheet after sheet of paper. The giant stamped them all firmly and filed them away. He pulled open file drawers and then shut them with a bang. Finally he turned back to the window and pushed a small red ticket through the slot and 5 euros in change. Even before your grandmother could say “thank you”, he closed the window. After much banging around from inside the tree, the door finally opened and he stepped out. He pulled out his ring of keys and began searching for the right one to lock the door.

‘ “When does the next ferry leave?” asked your grandmother.

‘The giant looked up in surprise. “The schedule is posted there, Madam.” And he pointed to a large sign that hadn’t been there before. To her horror, your grandmother read, “One trip per day, leaving at 4:37 am in the very early morning.”

‘ “Does this mean that there is only one ferry a day, and it only leaves early in the morning? But I must get to Lansby today.”

‘ “There is only one ferry a day from this side, Madam. If you were on the other side, the south side, there would be a ferry every hour, but there isn’t enough traffic from this side to justify more than one trip a day. I swear I can smell roast beef now.” And the giant licked his lips. He looked very hungry. “And is that the fragrance of a warm apple tart made with lots of cinnamon and cloves and allspice wafting through the air?”

‘Now your grandmother could tell that the giant was hungry, and that gave her an idea. She looked across the river and saw that pleasant meadow with its new-mown lawn. “Well, I shall just have to wait for the next ferry then,” said your grandmother. “And it’s too bad because that meadow on the other side of the river would have made the perfect spot for a picnic. And I have so much food, much more than I can eat by myself. But, I guess I won’t be able to have a picnic after all. Now, I mustn’t keep you from your nap. I shall just sit here on this rock and wait for the ferry.” And your grandmother sat down on the rock.

‘The giant looked at her and then sniffed the air. “Is that beet salad? I love beet salad.”

‘ “Yes, it is an old family recipe. Although I shouldn’t say so myself, it is one of the best beet salads in Ireland. The beets are sliced thinly and then tossed with small pickled onions. It looks so pretty with the dark red beets and the white onions stained pink by the beets. Now, I do insist that you not wait upon me any more. I’m sure that you have better things to do than to keep an old woman company.” Now your grandmother knew that she hadn’t made the beet salad, but she was getting desperate. She was sure that in the ogre’s family it was an old family recipe, and so she wasn’t really telling a lie, she told herself.

‘ “Aren’t you going to eat?”

‘ “No, I had my heart set on a picnic in that sunny meadow across the river, and if I can’t eat my lunch in that meadow, I won’t eat it at all. It will be too dark to eat there tomorrow morning when the ferry arrives on the other side, and I shall just have to wait until I find a nice spot to eat further on. It is too bad, because I have so much food. It would have been a pleasure to share it with someone and have a bit of a chat.”

‘The giant was torn. On one hand, the regulations of Fomor Enterprises specified only one ferry trip per day from the north shore of the river. On the other hand, he was very hungry, and he had been eating his own cooking for many years now, and he wasn’t a very good cook, and the smells coming from the knapsack were getting stronger and stronger and more and more delicious. His mouth watered at the thought of that beet salad, with its slices of dark red beets, nestled among little pickled onions. It was just the way his mother had made it, and it had been many years since he had had such a splendid dish. And the outside of the onions would become stained pink by the beets, but the inside would still be pure white. They would look so pretty when you sliced them open. Well, the giant decided he just had to have some of that food.

‘ “There might be a way. Regulations permit me to make trips in cases of emergencies,” the giant said.

‘ “I’m sure I can’t ask you to make an exception for me, although it would be a shame to see all this food go to waste for want of a proper picnic spot. Those shrimp will be spoiled by tomorrow and the brown bread will be stale,” said your grandmother. “And my errand today is of utmost importance. I need to get to Mr Carnovan’s Little Shop of Dreams in Lansby. My grandson Michael in Dublin is having the nightmares and only Mr Carnovan’s blue boxes can cure him of them.”

‘ “I think that qualifies as a medical emergency, then, Madam.”

‘ “I’m sure you know best, Sir,” said your grandmother. And she looked around as if she hadn’t a thought in the world of getting across the river that day.

‘The giant stepped over to a tree and opened a door. Inside was a mammoth wheel, like the wheels attached to the water taps in the garden, Michael, only much bigger. “To be operated only by an authorised employee of Fomor Ferries, a division of Fomor Enterprises, Ltd.” read the warning sign above the wheel. The giant began turning the wheel. He grunted and groaned with the effort. It was very difficult even for someone as large as the giant to turn the wheel. It screeched and complained.

‘Now, as the wheel turned, the river began to slow and the level of the water began to drop. Gradually, the tops of the rocks emerged from the river, and the river became first a gurgling stream and then a thin rivulet of water. Your grandmother stared in amazement, as the giant invited her to step on the rocks and cross the river. “You mean, this isn’t really a raging torrent?”

‘ “Well, it is a raging torrent when you need a ferry, but it’s just a quiet little brook when it’s time for the ferry to cross. It’s much safer that way. Surely you don’t expect me to risk my life in the raging torrent just to ferry you to the other side. Now, if you will just step across the causeway, Madam, you will soon be on the other side.”

‘Your grandmother thought to herself that she had better get across that fake river before the giant changed his mind. So she threw on the knapsack and hopped from stone to stone until she was safely on the other side. The giant followed her across. “Perhaps you should go ahead to the meadow, madam. I’ll just restart the raging torrent while you’re unpacking the picnic lunch.”

‘The giant was as good as his word. As your grandmother walked up the path to the meadow, he unlocked a door in another tree and began turning the wheel inside it. As your grandmother reached the meadow, she could hear the sound of the river raging behind her.

‘Your grandmother found a perfect spot for a picnic. Her only worry was that the ogre might not have packed enough food to satisfy a hungry giant. She unzipped the top zipper on the knapsack, and there inside was a snowy white tablecloth. Your grandmother pulled it out and spread it on the ground. It took her a very long time to do so because it was a very large tablecloth. Then she found two sets of dishes and silverware inside the knapsack and brought those out. One of them was a normal size set for humans, and she sat those out for herself. The other set was truly gigantic. The plate was large enough to hold an ostrich, and the fork was big enough to lift a turkey. And the knife—well, your grandmother had to lift it with both hands it was so heavy.

‘But your grandmother persevered and finally had the table properly set. Then she reached into the knapsack again and pulled out a platter with four roast chickens on it, another platter with two hams with the meat nicely sliced from the bone and piled in an attractive mound, a large plate with the biggest, juiciest beef roast on it she had ever seen, a huge glass bowl full of beet salad, and an apple tart as big as cartwheel. But I’d better stop there. I would be here all night, Michael, if I were to tell you all the food that came out of that knapsack.

‘ “Oh, now this is what I call a proper meal,” said the giant. He picked up his knife and cut a wing off one of the chickens and put it on your grandmother’s plate and added a small spoonful of beet salad. Then he tied his napkin around his neck so that he shirt wouldn’t get stained, and he proceeded to eat everything else, all the chickens, all the sliced ham, all the beef, all the beet salad, and all of everything else on the tablecloth, which I could not list because we would be here all night, there was so much food. When he had finished eating, every plate was clean. But, I regret to say, the tablecloth was a mess. The giant was not a neat eater. He ate so fast that the food dribbled out of chin and fell off his fork. A lot of it dropped onto his clothes. His napkin was stained, his white shirt was red with beet juice, and his hands needed to be washed, as did his face. If you were ever to make such a mess, Michael, your mother and I would never let you eat at the table again. And I hesitate to say what either of your grandmothers would do.

‘When the giant had finished eating, he placed his hand over his mouth and burped. He tried to be quiet about it, but of course what’s a quiet belch for a giant is a very loud belch for a human being. “Thank you, Madam,” he said to your grandmother. “I hope you enjoyed your meal. You are always welcome to use the ferry service here.” And then he yawned. All that eating had made him very tired. He yawned again. “I don’t know why I am so sleepy,” he said.

‘ “I do, you big pig,” thought your grandmother, but she didn’t speak her thoughts aloud. “Perhaps you should lie down and take a nap,” she said. “Just to help all that food digest.”

‘ “That is a very good idea, Madam,” said the giant, and he stretched himself out on that grass meadow and soon he was snoring away. Now you’ve heard Mr Adams next door snoring in his backyard, and you know how loud he is. Well, he was nothing next to the giant.

‘Your grandmother stood up and looked at all the dirty plates and dishes on the cloth. Now, you know how quickly she does the washing up in her own kitchen.’

Michael nodded.

‘Well, that day, she just left everything. She was that disgusted with the giant and Fomor Ferries and Fomor Enterprises. Since the giant had made the mess, she decided he could clean it up himself. So she reached into the knapsack and took out one of the chocolate bars wrapped in gold foil that the ogre had thoughtfully packed for her in case she got hungry while walking on the path to Lansby, and she put that in her left pocket. And she picked out an apple and put that in her right pocket. Then she zipped up all the zippers and put the knapsack on and stepped on to the path for Lansby. At the end of the meadow was a glade of trees. There she found a fingerpost pointing down the path. It read: “Lansby, 2.5 km and only one more adventure away.” She pulled the apple out of her pocket and began eating it as she started down the path through the trees. And when she had finished, she gave the core to a squirrel that was sitting in a tree beside the path.

‘And that, Michael, will have to be the end of the story for tonight. Now remember, you are not to open the little blue box. Just let it sit on the top shelf, and if you start having a nightmare, just think about the little blue box, and the nightmare will go away and you will have a good dream in its place.’

******

‘Have you ever met a giant, Mr Murphy?’

The Murphy opened one eye and regarded the House Guardian. Lú had to raise himself up on his feet to see over the edge of the bed. The Murphy could not understand Lú’s repeated failure to understand that he, The Murphy, had indeed experienced everything there was to be experienced on this earth. But in the interests of domestic harmony, he chose to reply politely and not bite the silly creature’s big ears off—for now. ‘I have, Lú. They are quite common in the hills south of Dunfanaghy. Many the times I’ve been escorting one of my lady friends to watch me catching mice, and we’ve met up with a giant. Of course, as is well known, they are frightened of cats . . .’

Michael moaned in his sleep and trembled slightly. Above him, on the top shelf of the bookcase, the little blue box shook and spun around two times. Michael smiled and rolled over, pulling the covers tighter under his chin.

‘Perhaps we should continue this conversation at another time and not disturb the boy, Mr Murphy.’

The Murphy licked his right front paw by way of answer and closed his eyes. When he heard Lú leave the room, he sat up quietly and examined Michael to make sure that the boy was sleeping peacefully. When he was satisfied that all was well, he curled himself up beside Michael and stretched out his right leg and touched the boy’s shoulder so that he would sense any disturbance in Michael’s sleep. Then he laid his head down and closed his eyes.