tupelo honey

By Nolan

Sun, 02 Jul 2017
  • 1402 reads
6 comments
 

blue and white
sea and sand
murmur and hush
round surrounded
by dark brown hair

to touch your cheek
to brush your hair
to steal your smile

feel soft breezes
salty sea breezes

hear a slapping silver fish
wet sand clear sea
mirroring a perfect dawn

~

your warm eyes
are so kind
as your gentle hands
would touch my face

~ ~

Certificate U
Poem
common one
Romance

Comments

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Just a suggestion, but have you tried reading it with the "y" removed from salty?

Nice piece. It has a soothing feel.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Nolan on

Salty salt. Six of one half-a-dozen of the other the difference is more or less technical. The one is a noun and the other an adjective. However there is in fact  a difference  of meanings.

 

Submitted by Nolan on

Your considerations are probably rather of structure and sounds and rhythm. That would really be extremely refined it's really not necessary here.

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Good point. I was thinking of rhythm. You're right.

Parson Thru

Submitted by PoppyS on

As a  daily visitor to the beach I like the feel of this, agree about the soothing aspect, reminded me of the waves gently lapping along the shore line, mermaids also sprang to mind.
I am always hoping to see one.

Pops ~xx~

Writing is art in pictures – Go paint poetry!

Submitted by Nolan on

Sounds like heaven &