The Treacle Tart War

Two-Ton Ted from Teddington

spent a lifetime getting that way

he lived off world famous treacle tart

thowd stockin mender brought him each day

They said he was an evil man

as drove baker’s van around

was one who took life of poor Ernie

fastest milkman in our town

Now Ted was known to sample

the odd bit of crumpet, buttered on the side

but hot treacle tart was his first love

without which he couldn’t survive

Poor Ted couldn’t offer Susie

a pint of creamy gold top every day

to ensure his supply of treacle tart

he’d have to find some wicked way

That’s when the fight got started

beneath the blazing sun's first rays

pork pies and macaroons were traded

Ernie the ultimate price did pay

Ted’s prize was hot treacle tart

with lashings of whip cream on the side

now Ted’s the fastest milkman in town

Ernie’s orphaned Trigger now Ted'd pride