A Dozen Drive Day

Twelve Lyft rides late Saturday morning into the early afternoon. Hit the Conoco first for a four minute vac that only costs a buck! Grey day, some dry, mostly between a mist and sprinkles with a quick downpour to keep it interesting. Slick roads and poor visibility, hot headed road vermin in a hurry to nowhere in particular. The Caddy purrs and prowls, my feet are one with the pedals, the steering wheel’s leather glides beneath my fingertips.

On platform at 0900, first ping 0902. Fish on!! Longer pick up times on this side of the river but much higher MPR (miles per ride). Fifteen minute pickup but a 16 mile ride, nice girl too, pleasant conversation. She did go to “The Parade”, this will be a recurring theme today. Out in the woods of Jersey, oh the horror whatever will I do to survive…? Sulk slowly back to the wide road to kill ten minutes for a one mile fast food employee drop off on a fifteen minute pickup ride it would appear. The universe has a sense of balance is all I’m suggesting. I’m staying busy though, warm seats make money and a few minutes later I’m on the last rides twin brother only with a two minute pick up. That’s a little easier to work with. Single young lady on the way to the bus stop, a good rain is very healthy for the short ride economy!

So I’m out in the middle of Sub-Jersey and pings are stacking up, I’m starting to feel a little Zen if you know what I mean. Guy-Girl couple, another quick pick, two stop, drop off dude, drop off lady, smelled of mouldy nicotine, bleech, had to spritz! I’m getting hits, nibbles, Sunnies and a Carp, but then the rod tip dips and I’m landing a nice lively Trout! Lady and two older kids, twenty mile run to the other side of the river. Kids are quiet and well behaved, “Yusss..!!” lady puts her head back and selects her eyelids to the fully reclined position. I queue up a quiet, mellow playlist and set the ride to super smooth glide ride to enhance the passengers experience to the maximum allowed torque value. However she also smelled of cigarettes and sadness and sadly again, I had to spritz. Zen is like that you know.

In the heart of the South Philly, Philly, promised land stacking pings before the drop. Playground of the Amp equipped and attitude enabled. Young couple on the way to brunch at a local chain eatery, also parade goers. She was moderately excited at the prospect of mass produced pancakes, I was reminded slightly of the “Blueberry Pancakes” scene from Pulp Fiction. One minute dead air, three minute snatch, single dude heading West of center, and that would be a yes again on parade attendance. Triple nickel, wait five, drive five, drop five, minimum plus surge and tip, Four ladies being happy tourists, the seats are full and the mood merry! Elton John, Benny and the Jets is up on the Ipod and we have a sing along in progress. Used my “A” joke and it went well so I broke out “The Termite”. It’s a thinker and they were good sports about it, front seat cracked herself up severely with her favorite “Dancing Tissue” joke which the three backseat companions had clearly heard more than once.

Stacked a ping before the drop again as an alert woman is waiting on Chestnut street, she all but combat rolled into the back seat, clicked the belt and we were wheels up in seconds. Gotta love me some experienced, on point passenger! Why can’t I rate that on the ride closeout? Drop west of the Schuylkill and a fast pic-a-pair on the way to Fishtown. I missed a turn… I’ll just let that sink in for a moment… The little guy on the inside was pitching an unholy spitzen-fitzen! Be like a duck, all calm and serene above and just keep paddling like the dickens down below. Got them safely to the reclaimed warehouse now gritty brew house destination with apologies for my use of the scenic route on the way. I missed a turn!!

Redemption is just a high end ride away, we listen to Santana’s Europa as she compares the architecture and population attributes of Philly to New York and Paris. Our old buildings compare very favorably while the citizens of both New York and Paris are quite sullen and grumpy when compared to the cheerful dispositions of the Philly locals. I blame “The Parade”. The whole city’s disposition has been out of whack ever since the Super Bowl victory. It’s as though a demon has been exorcised from six million people. Don’t know how long it will last, certainly through spring training I would hope. Wife calls in just before drop off in a, ahhh… challenging nav environment. I decline and call her back shortly. We talk about wrapping the gig up for the day, I’m getting a little creaky from all the uninterrupted seat time, while I vacillate over the decision the siren song of the pink ping lures me in for “one more ride”. Turns out it was worth the effort, south left of center all the way past Mannyukyopolise with a nice couple of young ladies on the way to the Gymnasium. Drop off, log off, lay in a course for home ensign Waze. Aye captain! Make it so!

So some cool jams on the Ipod, a bunch of nice entertaining passengers doing all kinds of wonderful interesting passenger things. A cool C-note for a few hours of driving around a four wheel living room couch with heated seats and a Bose sound system. Not a bad Saturday Lyfting in Philly.