Full Moon Friday Night

Took the cats to the free rabies clinic this morning and wanted to get last night’s journal down while I wait for the bleeding to stop. Got ride number 1500 last night, the wife went down the shore for the weekend with her besties so I cooked up a squirrel I kilt from the backyard and got a late start. Dijja ever notice how if you go North, the first ping is always South?? Like being back in basic training, make a left, make a left, make a left, right left!! 1499 is waiting outside a darkened storefront, I spy her not very sinister shape as she glides from the shadows and into the back seat. Half latch on the door and try again. It’s a line heading up Crescent towards P-Sauk, thought it might be a clean run but got the ding and a re-route. Hard right on short notice, I pulled back on the stick, kicked in full rudder, she shudders on the edge of a stall as we pitch around and make for the shady part of town. It always gets the spider senses tingling when a line pick is at the liquor store right next to the quickie-mart where that guy got shot last month…

Dude wanders over from the other side of the street, I cracks the window and ask, “You ‘Bob’”? That’s not his real name of course. I just called him that because as he ambled over with a kind of sailors rolling gait he sort of reminded me of a guy with no arms in a swimming pool. Offered the front seat but he opens the back door to find ‘Barbara’ already comfy there, he slides around and settles in behind me. Why Barbara you didn’t ask?? She was number 99… So, getting this back on track, which is what I was trying to do with this ride. Bob’s chatty and slightly lubricated early on the Friday evening. I leave my window cracked a bit. He works for a medical supply company, just finished 10 days of straight overtime, he’s in ops but wants to move into management, has a child psych degree, likes JJ Cole the rap artist. Like I said ‘Bob’, not his real name, is chatty this evening. It’s then I realize… It’s Friday night, the moon is full, I’ve got a half tank of gas, its dark and I left my Aviators at home! Oh Snap!

Bob says, “Stop here”. I have a strict policy in my ride, when a slightly sloshy passenger says, Stop! I drop anchor. I mean now… Bob jumps out and bee lines for the Chinese food restaurant on the corner, whew, close one. Farewell Bob, not your real name, and three blocks later a visibly relieved agent ‘99’ is at her front door. No time to enjoy the brief respite, I’m on the W-Ville/P-Sauk border and too close to the big “C” for comfort. Time to move! Not quick enough however, as I find myself on a narrow street. The street lamps are few and offer their illumination begrudgingly, their heart just isn’t in it. 1237, 1235, 1233, windows unlit and looking abandoned I spot 1231 clinging tenaciously to the stair post. Headlight flash from a parked sedan on the other side and a female figure alights, crosses purposefully and approaches. Oh what fresh hell is this I wonder? Scrubs! She’s wearing scrubs, she’s sober and heading for Cooper, my heart resumes its regularly scheduled programming. Still, the night air reeks of ozone and electricity.

I’m deep in ‘C’ and the lights of the big town beckon from across the river. Do I drop into stealth mode and slip over the Ben while I can, or ride the Jersey wave one more time? Ha! Danger is my middle name. She’s just around the block, it’s a party wants the front seat, she’s pretty, she’s peppy, she’s inebriated, very, she’s got the hiccups, the potholes in this part of town are well and truly impressive. I’m concerned but hiccups assures me she’s juss fyinee and five minutes into the journey, she’s asleep! I wake her as we turn on the base leg, she calls to have the door opened at the upscale condo block. Boyfriend in a wife-beater opens the side door and gives me the stink eye as I pull away. At least I’m well out in the world of paved roads and high pressure sodium streetlights.  

The condo lot is a club foot dead end with multiple side lots to nowhere and I’ve already got a dinger on the line. Found Haddon Ave. mostly by instinct, nav says 11 minute snatch, I’m there in 4! Apparently I have the optional warp drive feature, bought it used, didn’t read the whole owner’s manual, who knew? They’re not ready and it’s a line, guy steps out to give the wave and the one finger wait for me. It’s OK buddy, take your time. Dog escapes onto the porch to keep an eye on things, lady comes out, goes back in, guy comes out, dog circles, lady appears again, gets in, guy gets dog back in the residence and joins her. Whew!

This is the ride of the night so I’ll take a little time on the narrative here, feel free to get a beverage, stretch, whatever.

She is very well dressed, short party dress with a wide hem, heels, stockings, hair makeup well done. He’s husband casual, open collar and slacks, shoes not Keds! Start the ride and do a destination check, my well dressed couple is off for a night of fun at… a news stand in Berlin??? Is this right sir? Oh yeah, my friend said I should check the place out! O-B-K-B! 26 minute ETA, I already had a top shelf playlist queued up, dropped her into drive and thumbed the play button. Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga, I can’t stop this feeeelliing deep insiiide of meeee Ooga-Ooga.. (See if that’s not stuck in your hear for the next few hours! You’re welcome…) “Oh I love this song! Can you turn it up?” It’s my second favorite comment from the back seat. “Yes Ma’am” Roughly 3 minutes 12 seconds later I hear my favorite back seat comment. “Who’s this?” Iiiii’mm onnnn fiiiiirrre Dwight Twilly ma’am! “I’ve never heard of him.” No ma’am, no one has! Cracked the top 20 for 3 weeks in 1975, if you weren’t there you missed it. “Maybe my dad knows who he is, he has like a thousand records he knows everything.” I’m sure he does ma’am, you should ask him!

There follows a lengthy and enjoyable conversation of concerts attended, bands seen, music and merriment. Shared that I was trolling the wife hard to go to Colorado this August to see a concert at Red Rocks. “What’s that?” Casual dressed hubby knows and has been there! Jelly? Yeah, just a bit. “Who do you want to see?” Joe Bonamassa, is my reply. “Who?” Time to key up a new playlist, I punch up Songs of Yesterday from the Live at Carnegie Hall acoustic release and check to see if a substantial increase in volume is permissible. I’m rolling with a nine speaker Bose system and I did read this section of the owner’s manual in detail. It’s a slow start, easy build, bluesy romantic piece. Sounds from the backseat let me know it’s time to nudge the rearview mirror up a bit. I think they liked the vibe! We have time for Midnight Blues to echo into the evening air as we roll up to the “News Stand”. I was thinking trendy bar, yuppie night spot, nope! Porn rag dispensary and closed to boot.

It’s a line, no changes, confusion and conversation as hubby opinions that perhaps his buddy has pranked him slightly. Ya think?? They open the doors, the guy inside the closed store peers out suspiciously, do all porn rag store guys look the same or is it the same guy at all the stores. Who even buys porno mags anymore? That’s why the internet was invented! We passed an actual local watering hole about a quarter mile back, why don’t you folks give that a try while you sort the rest of your evening out? No, no, we’ll get out here. They do, I close the ride. They reconsider and get back in. Wants to do a cash ride to the bar, no can do. He tries to request me on app, cool I’m on a streak and need one more to fill it out. The ping comes in, it’s not him, they get back out, I feel bad about it but move on as they start to hoof it to the bar. Takes a couple of second to get the nav coordinated only to discover my pickup is… at the bar! Groan! They tipped a fiver in app to boot.

Three husky young lads fill my seats and the streak. Eight bucks baby! We can eat meat this Sunday, yeah… Quick ride from one bar to a different bar, front seat is pondering his life choices. He had a scholarship to the Academy but they cut the Lacrosse program so he ended up getting thrown out of the dorm somewhere else for smoking pot. I missed some of the details, it was a short ride in unfamiliar territory with a lot of curves and turns. Just because I’m nodding and saying “Uh-Hmm” a lot doesn’t mean I’m really paying close attention to the sad disappointment that is your life kid. Roll up to bar number two, one of the back seaters was kind enough to leave a little something behind for me to remember him by! Eyes watering, I’m grateful it’s a nice enough night I can put the windows down for the next half a mile.

Out in the middle of nowhere and I got pinged before I’m out of the parking lot. Little twenty lot development just past a fallow corn field, no lights. All the way down the end of the road, big ‘ol Bubba looking farm boy type sets the front seat back and clambers in. Conversation starts with, “I’m only going a few miles.  Just smoked a lot of pot!” Whell OK then. You know the great thing about pot smokers? They don’t throw up for one, and they are friendly as a rule. Like best friend, known you for life friendly. Bubba shares his new tattoos at the stop sign. It’s an under the sea theme, you know like a prom thing. There’s a shark and clouds and a pineapple because Sponge Bob lives there and Patrick was a role model to him growing up. I didn’t catch all of it obviously, again lots of nodding and Um-Hmm. Do I want to burn one with him? No I have a wiz quiz soon at work. OK, but if I want to burn I should look him up now that I know where he lives, just stop by.

I’ll do that!

Time to go home, Tha-tha-tha-that’s all folks!!