Plushie

I love my Sasu-chan.

I love my plushie.

I think you know what I'm talking about when I say plushie. You know, those plush toys made after anime characters and are nice to collect and put on your bed. I have quite a collection now, actually.

But my favorite has to be the one I made myself. You see, my grandmother likes to sow. So I learned to make plushies. He was the first one I ever made. A little crude, and the eyebrows were slightly crooked, and the hands a little too fat, but it was cute all the same. What chibi isn't, right girls? His name is Sasu-chan. I gave him a little sword made from felt, and piercing red eyes.

And I love his eyes. They were so beautiful to look at. I'm glad I bought the blood-red spool of thread to make them with. They were great against his pale skin and jet-black felt hair. He was so soft too. I loved keeping him with me, hugging him when I sleep.

It's been a long time now since I've had him. I made him when I was 12. I'm 18 this year, and I've never been a single night without him. When I was a child, I was scared of the dark--I still am, but for different reasons. All the same, still scared. He made the monsters go away though, he made everything I know would hurt me go away. He made me feel safe. I used to talk to him a lot too, when I was annoyed.

That's what I'm doing now. It's my roommate recently that I've been annoyed at. I used her spoon once, ONCE. It's been three months since then and she still hasn't spoken to me. I didn't do it on purpose either. She would laugh and smile with everyone but me, and would always call me by clicking her tongue or hissing (like shooing an animal). She was the worst.

"Seriously that bitch." I said, eyeing her as she entered the room, noisily, making me jump (I was busy reading creepy pastas.) "Tch...she always does that."

I never opened my mouth when I talked to Sasu-chan. I always did it in thought. Haha. I remember as a child that I made up that he could read my mind, so that only he and I could understand each other.

"I wish she would just go away. Someone please rape and kill her." I said in my head, getting more and more annoyed. "She's such a bitch. I bet her boyfriend doesn't even love her. I've seen his face too, he's fat and ugly. No wonder. She's not much to look at, even if she is slimmer than me. Doesn't matter, means that if I ever feel like it, I could bulldoze her over."

Don't get me wrong. I'm not fat, just big. I was born with large bones, and a wide rib-cage. I know: I see my ribs in the mirror everytime I change.

I sighed and kissed my plushie's forehead, untying my long dark, dark brown hair (which was dyed a fiery red at the fringe) and looked around for a place to put my hair tie. I got lazy and realized my desk was packed anyway and put it around Sasu-chan's wrist. I smiled--it looked cute. I took him and held him to my chest and lay down, pulling the thick blanket over me, and him, nice and cozy. All my other plushies surrounded us, staring away from my bed like extra guards as Sasu-chan stared at my face. I smiled and toughed my nose to his soft, plush face and shut my eyes. If you've never fallen asleep with something this soft in your arms, you've missed out on one of life's greatest pleasures.

---

I wake up, hungry. I hated that. I always woke up late at night, hungry. I sat up, stretching and rubbing my eyes. I then threw the quilt off and got up. The lights outside the room are still on, so I assume my roommate's still working. Whatever. I go to the door to realize that walking isn't nice without a bra on, so I take my shirt off and place it on the table, facing the mirror and counting my ribs. Then I go to the dresser and grab my bra from La Senza, the one my boyfriend loves. I put it on and slip my shirt back over my head and pull it down. It's then I notice in the reflection that the spot next to my head on the pillow was empty.

I panic and look under my bed for Sasu-chan. But he's not there. Now, I'm angry. That stupid bitch must have taken him while I was sleeping! I know she's pissed at me and always trying to ruin my life, but taking Sasu-chan is beyond the limit. I slipped my hand under my pillow for the little sword my ex gave me; even with Sasu-chan around, I had to make sure. I held the thing in my hand, planning to threaten her with the blade until she gave him back. If she had done anything to him, she was dead.

I walk out of the room to find the main room empty, with her things on the floor and the table, as if she had just stopped working for a second. I assume she's in the bathroom. I walk to the kitchen (the bathroom was behind the water dispenser) and head past the fridge into the little hallway we had leading to it. I see it's dark, since the lightbulb always burns out and peer inside. (Without Sasu-chan with me, all I had to rely on in case there was anything other than my roommate there was my blade, and in truth, I felt safer with him.)

The bathroom is empty. I sigh and relax, until I hear a crash behind me. I jump and turn around, whipping the little sword out of it's holder and inching towards the door to the kitchen. I swallow and stick my head through, just enough for my eyes.

I see a young man, who looks about my age to twenty, and in his hand is my roommate's forearm, hacked off. I stare for a second, sleepy mind still whirring as he turns and smiles at me, a longer, more formidable blade in his hand.

He walks over, still smiling at me, covered in my roommate's blood, and as he moves I see the rest of her is still attached by a single tendon to the arm he's holding with him. Her body drags on the floor.

I step out, glaring at him. "Now look what you did." I say in my head. "I have to clean you up again, plus this."

He looks down a little before pulling the hair tie off his wrist and tying my hair up with it apologetically.

I sigh and roll my eyes, smiling and kissing his nose. "At least we'll have a lot of food for dinner now."

I love my Sasu-chan.