desire of death

Life comes once and gives hundred desires and we do million mistakes.
death comes once and wash away all your worry and sorrow in a drain.
i always wonder why i am alive,each day i sleep with a prayer to be dead as soon as possible..
each day i have dreams of my death to get free from the sins i am acquiring and from the pain i m giving to loved once.
I want to die as i am betrayer who is betraying his own parents who are god for me.
i dont know how i am doing all this,each time i think i wont repeat it again and i repeat the same and increase depth of my sins..
i dont know what the shit is thier in this world that even our life is not in our hands..
May be soon my desire ll be full filled and evryone ll live happily..