Diminishing returns

I think of my head inside this world,
within this existence,
and I'm thinking “Fractal”.

But where is order?

So I picture kaleidoscope landscapes
of tumbling grains
within tumbling grains
crashing blindly in mirrored arcades
of endless expanse.

And I'm alone.

Then I hear your spirit voice.

I tear my heart to explain,
but each thought dies before it reaches the page.