Exudate

Cherry

By Parson Thru

Wed, 04 Sep 2013
  • 2439 reads
8 comments
 

When exudate
runs down your legs
When your feet are bandaged
swollen and wet
And your skin
is a mess of ulcers and sores
You’ve probably run your last marathon

It’s time to start thinking
about the past
And all the wonderful times you’ve had
All the things that you’ve done
And all the regrets

Exudate

One of those interesting words
that means nothing
Until you’re watching it
run from your father’s legs

Certificate U
Poem
The found summer of a motorcycle hermit
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Bee on

Hi PT.

No, not pretty. Using one very descriptive word to tell it like it is, is honest and bold. I liked the second stanza very much - ending, 'and all the regrets - ' followed by the single word - 'Exudate', between that and the explanatory stanza can have a couple of meanings, I think - like the regrets are leaving, or else, just surfacing, either way, hopefully being got rid of. I'm sure we all have lots. That second stanza could also apply equally to both parties, though it seems to be primarily addressed to the inspiration of the piece.

Your poem has, for me, a feeling of helplessness about having to watch, whilst being unable  to do anything about the suffering, yet being sat in contemplation, making the mild observations that are likely to occur as thoughts wander in such a situation. You have painted a scene that is easy to picture, where you feel equally for both father and son. 

Made me think.

Bee

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Thank you Bee. Sometimes I think one's unconscious is more than half responsible for what gets written. That's why I scrapped the version that was more "crafted" than this and went back to the original. Reading your comments has taught me more about the piece than I knew. Thanks for taking the time to tell me about it. Glad that it meant something to someone.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Bee on

Sorry if I got the wrong end of the stick - that's just how I saw it, but liked.

Bee

Submitted by Parson Thru on

No no no. You were scarily bang on Bee. 2 years ago I was in exactly the position you describe. x

Parson Thru

Submitted by Parson Thru on

A bee just landed on my arm. She cleaned herself in the sun for a while then flew away.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Bee on

Oh, how lovely! It wasn't me, though; I was already clean...

Bee

Submitted by Parson Thru on

We kept them until one colony died over winter and the other flew away. I love just watching them. They are wonderful animals. Maybe this one somehow smelled the others and knew I was a friend. A lovely moment. Where's my pen?...

Parson Thru

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Flippin' 'eck, CP.  I seem to have fallen asleep under the cherry tree.

Thank you for picking these poems etc.  I am really so knocked over.

 

Very, very grateful and so pleased that they are being read and enjoyed.

 

This is still the best site of its kind on t'Internet.

 

Nothing gets close.

No gimmicks.  No games.  Just readers and writers.

 

Thanks

 

Kev

Parson Thru