Frustrations of life

I thought I was dying
so I rang the doctor
Receptionist said
He's busy
Can't see you today
He'll see you
a week Wednesday instead
I said Ok
Forget it. I could be dead

So an hour later
I rang again
Receptionist said
(different one this time)
I can do you today
with a different doctor
Or in the morning
if you come before nine
I said Fine
I'm on my way

So I stood on the platform
to wait for my train
It was cancelled
They laid on another
Switched the platform
then switched it back again
I called up the doctor
Switched the appointment
then switched it back again

So the doctor greets me
All smiles and asks how I am
You haven't been in for a while
I answer Not bad I suppose
He's a locum
My usual one
We see the GP less and less
Improving his golf I guess
I blow my nose

I explained about
the shivers and sweats
The constant colds
Throat always sore
Thinking Referral
or antibiotics at least
I told him how
I'd never been this rough before

Aaaaaah!
Again.
Aaaaaaah!
Viral infection.
Your pharynx is dark red
but it will go.
It goes and then comes back
I said.
Gargle.
With TCP?
Yes. Try that.
I said Thanks
Convinced I'd soon be dead

I thanked the receptionist
on the way out
One more patient to see
He'd probably had a long day
I gargled with TCP
And a shot of frozen vodka
to see the virus on its way