Soldiers

As you dip your soldiers and digest the news of your future King, try not to choke on the main course of Great British Taxpayer mugged by dole scroungers and welfare-wise foreigners.

Afterwards, take a constitutional stroll past shining cathedrals erected to the saints of Finance and Consultancy. And think about where the money came from. I know.

So does David Trick-cyclist who valiantly tried to turn off the tap on arrival at the office, barely out of his bicycle clips.

Minor cracks appeared in edifices as they settled on their foundations, but no towers collapsed.

As I spoon my porridge, I take in the major works at the house across the street, the large matching German cars and consecutive personal numbers. How sweet.

Top of the local drug pyramid? I doubt it. Lawyers, more like. A nesting pair.

And the wealth? Too much for private business around here. No they are in the pay of the public. People just like yourself.

But that's business, which makes it ok. Enjoy your breakfast, by the way.