Life lessons for a man

Son, as you journey on through your life, here’s my advice to you, as given to me by my father.
In your working life-
If you want to get a thumb, a good rule of head is to put your elbow into everything you do. And then, with plenty of back-grease, you can achieve great things.
And, when something’s a cheek, turn the other foot. Keeping your ear to the wall, and your back to the ground, cos it’s a finger for a finger in this life.
In your friendships-
When dealing with personal matters; remain thick-lipped and tight-skinned, being wary of toe-jerk reactions. Always extending the knee of friendship, and giving others a helping foot along the way.
As far as women go-
BEWARE of thinking with your nose and following your arse or the very dick could fall out of your world.
And – are you listening? - this is most impotent.
When communicating with others, don’t up muddle your sentences and way wrong round your clichés.

“ Oh Bollocks”