The Entirely Tragic Love Affair of the Carrot and the Turnip

Once a farmer owned a plot and planted side by side,
Vegetables of different kinds in rows six inches wide,
Tomatoes next to cabbages, a swede beside a spud,
A utopia of veg there was all nestled in the mud,

But though I set this sunny scene all was not ok,
There was a pair who would not share the ground in which they lay,
A Carrot and a Turnip were the culprits in this crime,
They’d argue and they’d quarrel and they’d bicker all the time,

But given days and passing weeks they learnt to get along,
And liking grew to loving and the love they had was strong,
The Carrot was romantic spouting sentimental mush,
And Turnip favoured compliments that made his Carrot blush,

They lived this bright existence until one fateful day,
The farmer’s wife she came outside and walked the lovers way,
For the farmer had decided that he’d have a roast for tea,
His wife she eyed the trembling veg then headed for the peas,

They squirmed beneath her calloused grip but there’d be no reprieve,
She’d work her way around the patch before she’d think to leave,
And our lovers they could only watch, with eyes in horror wide,
As their friends were ripped out from their beds, a veggie genocide,

When at last she came for Carrot she was met with quite a sight,
Her leaves were wrapped round Turnips clinging on with all her might,
The farmers wife she tugged and pulled but there was nothing she could do,
She couldn’t tear the pair apart so she took the Turnip too,

Amongst their fellow vegetables they huddled in the basket,
Which had become their resting place, a reedy funeral casket,
The farmer’s wife she picked them up and carried them indoors,
Then placed them on the tabletop and opened up a drawer,

From which she pulled a sharpened knife then turned back to the table,
An apronned executioner all armed and apt and able,
And laying down her weapon there she tipped the veggies out,
‘Surely this is the apocalypse!’ did cry a morbid sprout,

A second later he was quartered and his plaintive wails ceased,
A marrow screamed and fainted and the panic just increased,
But Carrot and her Turnip, with a painful death impending,
Decided they would rather find a more befitting ending,

For a set of tragic lovers so they scuttled to the edge,
Of the kitchen tables surface and then peered o’er the ledge,
What they saw below inspired them both to go ahead,
And finish what they started before any more was said,

Carrot looked at Turnip, tears brimming in her eyes,
‘Hush my love,’ the Turnip said ‘and let’s say no goodbyes,’
So in the dying moments of the lives they’d soon surrender,
They took one last look at the world and jumped into the blender.