Andrex

 

The starship Kittensoft drifted inexorably towards the event horizon of the black hole.

 

"Woah there!" said Captain Shortcake. "Can't we turn this baby around?"

 

"We can," said Lieutenant Buttercream; "but it would involve spraying a delicate infusion of creme brulee directly onto the rainbow rods."

 

"So do it!" said the captain.

 

Lieutenant Buttercream glanced nervously across at 2nd Engineer Twinklepie. The highly perceptive Captain Shortcake caught this look, however, and pulled 2nd Engineer Twinklepie to one side.

 

"What aren't you telling me, Twinklepie?" said the captain.

 

"We, um..."

 

"Spit it out, man!"

 

"We used up our creme brulee reserves in the battle against the Powderpuff hoardes."

 

"I see... so what's the alternative?"

 

"Alternative, sir?"

 

"What else can we use, 2nd Engineer Twinklepie?"

 

"Well... um... nothing, sir..."

 

"Wrong answer. Lieutenant Buttercream, your thoughts?"

 

"There is one thing," said Lieutenant Buttercream; "but it has never been tested beyond the experimental phase."

 

"As it would appear our only other option is to be sucked into the black hole of doom," said Captain Shortcake; "tell me what we should do, Lieutenant Buttercream."

 

"Sprinkle pixie dust onto the ship."

 

"Pixie dust?"

 

"Aye, pixie dust, captain."

 

"And how are our pixie dust reserves?"

 

"We have a thimbleful, sir."

 

"Is that enough?"

 

"Enough for ten ships, sir."

 

"Then do it!"

 

"Oh hang on," said Lieutenant Buttercream.

 

"What is it?" said Captain Shortcake.

 

"We used it on the fairy buns for your birthday party."

 

"Bugger."